Its Monday

I'm a guy who values his sleep, clearly. I don't have a normal "bed time" that I follow religiously - I go to bed when I'm tired. Sure, if I have a long day the next day I will go to bed early that night before, so I can be well rested, but normally, I go to bed anywhere from 9:30 to midnight. Now as far as waking up is concerned, I usually wake up anywhere from 7:30 to 8:00 am. Being the Director of my department, I'm afforded a more flexible schedule than others. Usually I go to work around 8:30 or 9. So when it comes to my sleep, I'm very particular.

This morning, at 6:24, a full hour before I wanted to wake up, I got a text message from one of my staff members saying she wouldnt be in today. This is fine, I'm a pretty laid back boss when it comes to leave. I figure, you earn the leave so you have the right to take it whenever you want. Unlike some directors/supervisors I know, I dont make a federal case out of leave time, I dont badger a person who wishes to take leave, and I'll glady approve any leave slip. So when my co-worker, the tutor in my office, texts me to say she won't be in, its fine, leave it at that, you dont have to give me an excuse, take the day off if you want. Instead, I get this long text that is seriously a short essay complete with an introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs. So here I am at 6:24 am, barely awake, trying to squint and read this long ass text.

She could have waited until 8 or so, its no worry of mine if I get to work and she's not there. So I get the text, it reads, as follows: "I cannot make it in today my daughter has influenza b. I had to take her to the emergency room last nite when we got back from the tournament. we stayed at the hospital for iv then i took her home at midnite. she was doing betr but through the nite her fever has come back. I will need to take her into the clinic this morning. On a good note, (her other child) go champion and (son #2) got 8th place. I will cal u later sorry bout this." Okay, so NORMALLY, the phone cuts you off at some point when youre texting, or at least it should. A simple, "I can't make it in today, sick child" would have sufficed instead of this long winded monstrosity that was her text.

That mini-novel of a text said it all right? apparently not. At this point, I knew there was no going back to sleep, so I stayed in bed, watching tv and all the bad music videos on VH1. So around 7:30, as usual, I start to get ready for work. I didn't hear my phone ring but apparently Miss Long-Winded Co-worker of the year called. I think her text said it all. Like I said, why did it have to be so early, I guess I'll have to put out a memo....

So I have this change bucket thing in my bedroom. I've been doing this for some time now. This large plastic container houses all my loose change that I tend to accumulate throughout the day. At the close of another day, I'll empty out my pockets and throw all my change in this container. Occasionally, I clean out my car that throw all the change in the ashtray into this bucket. It normally gets around half full, I'll take it in to the bank and cash all the change in, usually once a year. Well this year, apparently because I have more money or something, this bucket is 3/4 full. Theres not a lot of pennies in there either, we're talking alot of quarters and other silver. I think I'll wait until it gets completely full to the top before I take it in, maybe we could have a guessing game of how much money my change jar holds. I usually get anywhere from 80 to 200 bucks out of it, maybe i'll hit the jackpot with this one.

My sleepy little home town is getting a major technological upgrade tomorrow. Once in a great while, we get a few new channels added to our cable line up. Recently, it was the addition of 3 ESPN channels (4 total now), the NFL network, 2 more religious channels (4 total), and 2 home shopping channels. Apparently Gtown is full of religious zealots who like sports and are too lazy to go downtown to buy a crappy denim jacket (and everyone is crying SHOP LOCALLY, AND KEEP THE SMALL TOWN ALIVE). Well tomorrow, we're getting 10 more channels added to our lineup, and they're actually worthwhile channels, ones I have missed since leaving Vermillion. So thats not really a big deal you may be saying, but we're also getting DVR packages available too. I guess I'm officially a country bumpkin now... "gee, you can pause and rewind live TV, eeherherherheee!!!!!"

I should really be working, instead of sitting here typing away like this. I'm sure theres something I can find to do. I guess I'll be one my way now, off to the land of paperwork nightmares. Later... for now

Before you read Twilight

Its Me

Injum Jim is back, the rumors about me aren't true, i'm not dead and I haven't gone to Tibet on a spiritual quest. Its been a rough couple of weeks, I've been busy AND my department was on the verge of being shut down and investigated because the United States Postal Service lost official testing materials sent to be scored, NOT OUR FAULT. Any way, that was last week, this week i've been fairly relaxed and nothing much has been goin on. So last night, I was watching Hannity's America or whatever on Fox News Channel, and Hannity had on his Great American Panel. Basically, there is always someone who shares his view point, someone who opposes his views but is weak so he can walk all over them, and then one who is usually in the middle but usually always swings towards Hannity's side. Blah. Anyway, Dr. Drew was on this Panel, so I thought hmm, I should continue to watch to see what Dr. Drew says about politics. Needless to say he got in to the psycho babble about the mob mentality this country is in at this point and the dynamics of a group.

I got ahead of myself, let me back up. ALL throughout the show, Hannity, before every commercial break, was saying things like "The dangerous lyrics in Britney Spears's new song," "the hidden messages in Spears's new track," "what you dont want your child to hear when they listen to Britney Spears" Mission accomplished, he got my attention so I continued to watch. Well here is where Dr. Drew came in. I guess Britney's new song is entitled If You Seek Amy, I started to laugh to myself. Everyone on the show was acting like its the first instance where words were put together to make a different meaning. They were analysing it and of course, when you hear it over and over is sounds like F U C K Me. I think its making a mountain out of a mole hill. If he's the censor police where is he when all those guys walk around with the shirts saying Sofa King Awesome and stuff like that, I dont get it. Parents should be policing what their minor children listen, watch, and view on the internet. Thanks Hannity for looking out for my best interests.

Also, for as blatant of a partisan as Bill O'Reilly is, he has the nerve to say his show is the no spin zone, the spin stops here, cuz we're looking out for you. Okay, and this guy wrote a children's book. Isn't this the same guy who started out as a talk show host and isn't this the same guy who called some woman and left dirty messages on her phone? And this guy is talking about values and morals when he clearly doesn't have any. Okay so I got off my soapbox, no more. Well i'll be back later to blog some more since i've clearly neglected my blogging duties.

Later

Award Winning!

I follow a blog about Mrs. Obama and they just posted an entry about a recent fundraiser/award ceremony hosted by the Kennedy's. Here's the kicker, it was also for Senator Ted Kennedy's birthday. Oh and at this award ceremony/birthday bash/fundraiser thingmajiggybobber, Senator Kennedy was given the John F. Kennedy Profile In Courage Award.

Hold up a sec. Aren't you a Kennedy? Winning an award from the Kennedy's? Shouldn't you be exempt because you're a blood relative? Shouldn't you be presenting the award or something? There is just something so self-servicing and ignorant about "winning" an award from your own family- especially when you're the Kennedy's for goodness sake. What, do they have mini award ceremonies all the time for each other?

"Our two competitors for skinniest member of the Kennedy/Bouvier clans are Maria Shriver and Caroline Kennedy! Oh! Caroline wins again! Because it's the KENNEDY AWARD for skinniness! Come get your award girl!"

I better start holding the Sara Olson-Liebert awards, otherwise known as the SOL's, and only award myself.

I want a popsicle.

Chatterbox Sara

Snow

Snow = God Puke

God saw Satan's Arm Pit, SD.
He said, "That nauseates me."
Then he puked.
Snow.
On us.

AGAIN.

**by Chatterbox Sara**

Enjoy

Listen here, stupid heads

Winter sucks.
It is not romantic.
It is not fun.
It's only pretty during the first five minutes.
Also only pretty on postcards.
Give it a rest, mother nature.
If you looooooooove winter, you are ridiculous.
Come live HERE.
You'll get over how "cute" and "great" and "beautiful" and "romantic" you think winter is.
Because the only thing that winter is
Is AWFUL.

The End.

**A Poem by Chatterbox Sara**

WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY PLANET EARTH DVD'S ARE HERE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lady Gaga has a Crotch.

Soooo, it's been awhile since I've been here. In the name of shameless self promo, I've been on my new blog a lot, and it's listed at the bottom of the page, so check it out. I still need to post here though because with my dear, dear Injun Jimbo I can spend a lot of time being sardonic and nasty about this thing called life in America. It is one of the things I love most about our friendship, that we spend most of our time being flippant and nasty about the rest of the world.

Moving on, here's a quick lil' update on my little world. I'm super pregnant, I'm super over beng pregnant, I'm having a boy named Emerson. Nolan's birthday was last week, it was fun, olan no longer works at Barnes & Noble but now works full time for USD at the Dept of American Indian Studies Oral History Center. he should be a guest blogger on here sometime to talk about all his fun adventues with Jim-bo's peeps. Heyayayayaya. Our house has been sick ward for this last month- various flus and such have afflicted us in the most disgusting of ways. But the most important news is that Nolan convinced me to buy an orange futon/couch thingie for our office/guest room. I just pray it's not some hunter-garb orange or prisoner orange.

Moving on again. Today I was watching vh1 for the first time in about 800 years and I just need to know some things. Why are Lady Gaga and Britney Spears so devoted to showing off their coochi-coochie-coos? Really. Why? Every one knows you two probably have va-jay-jays. One of you has birthed spawnlings. The other, I thought was a cross dresser for a really long time, but I guess isn't, so therefore, it's natural that she has a vagina. I don't need to see it. Vaginas are actually kind of unattractive to look at, no matter how you playboy it up- waxings, bleachings, surgeries, whatever- it's still your muff and nobody but the people you do the dinky-dink with wants to see it.

Ugh. I really wish I had a cup of coffee. Back to lady Gaga. Out of wondering about her as an artist, I was listening to some of her other stuff on lala.com (you haven't heard about this site? oh, well GO THERE NOW- FREE AND CHEAP MUSICA) and there is one song called Papparazzi that is pretty spectacular because it's about being a stalker, which is incredibly hot. We all know how much I love love love Sting's Ultimate Ode to being an obsessive creep-o "Every Breath You Take". Sometimes I wake Nolan up by singing that song in a creepy voice- it always gets him turned on.

Wait a second, can we really classify someone with the name, artistic or not, of Lady Gaga as someone we take seriously? Didn't think so. Gosh, why do I care if she shows her va-gi-na then? I should care more about artists with integrity . . . like Kanye. He's got a new video out, "Heartless". It's an 80's acid trip. Nolan loves, loves Kanye. I just want to know why there are animated women in this video wearing green or yellow lipstick.

I also want to know why Nickleback's "got to be Somebody" video features them traveling through the universe and then standing pon a canyon ledge during an earthquake. Is this some testament to the awesome power of how much they blow? Can some one in the music video industry PLEASE explain to me why I need videos with va-jay-jays, green and yellow lipstick, galaxy travel, and an animated Kanye smoking a cigarette. He should smoke peace pipe lites with Jim-bo.

Jim-bo's a danged work-a-holic at this so called "job" of his. What salaried worker really goes and works on Sundays, just for the heck of it. I think that he's just tired of hanging out, being a creeper in his folks' dungeon basement, so he goes to work and dinks around with his cell phone and ipod and plays solitaire. I mean he is getting paid and all, why not!?!?!?! Just kidders, Jim- I know how hard you work. Sorta.

So a few weeks ago Nolan and I watched a documentary called "Cook Your Life". I really got the basic idea behind this thing- make cooking a zen thing, care what comes and goes from your body, nourish your soul while nourishing yourself. What I want to know is where they found the zen bread maker chef guy. He's a bit cross eyed and he's a bit lispy and he's just flat out fabulous. He has a five minute diatribe about having originally been resentful when he became a buddhist monk to the ritual of offering the Buddha food every night. He waxes poetic about the fact that he's certain Buddha doesn't care about the crepes they are offering him . . . and then just sort of tapers off because he probably lost his train of thought. You have to see this to appreciate it.

The best part of having watched this is that now Nolan can do a dead on impression of this guy ad does it regularly to alleviate my insano-prego-psycho-mood swings. Yeah, mood swings. I'm any manic depressives worse nightmare right now. Last night I went from feeling peaceful and content to psychotically angry to near sobbing to zooming around folding laundry in less than 30 seconds. I pity people that have to deal with me right now.

I gotta post another blog about the stupidness of being American right now, but I do need to be sort of productive today. Basically I'm mad at other Americans for giving President Obama grief for not getting all his promises accomplished in the first thirty seconds of being prezzie. Because, you know, bureaucracy doesn't just wick away efficiency of government, nosirree. But that's best saved for its own post, soon to come. Right now it's more important to me to go give the kitties some catnip purely for my own amusement.

Peace out-

Chatterbox Sara