Children at Work

In an effort to eliminate distractions at work I'm thinking about instituting the following policy regarding children at work. There are also some other things I think i should address. This could be a memo that I wish i could send out to certain peoples, including the one sitting 15 feet away from me YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

Dear staff, January 28, 2003

In an effort to eliminate distractions in the work place, specifically for the director, the following policy will go in to effect immediately! Starting today, your children will not be allowed to accompany you to work. Your children are prohibited from stopping by for "unexpected visits" during work hours. Your children are prohibited from calling you during work hours. Your spawn are prohibited from calling you ON THE OFFICE PHONE during work hours. Your children can not use the director's computer for anything because I'm afraid they'll get gum on the keyboard AGAIN and the last time the little shits used it the space bar "magically" popped off. (NO ONE IS ALLOWED AT MY DESK BUT ME)

If your children somehow magically appear at work without prior notification I will be forced to escort them in to our storage room where they will be locked in until such time as you are able to go home AND TAKE THEM WITH YOU. If you're planning your daughters birthday party, and she throws a bitch fit because "you're totally ruining her life" and she goes storming out of the building, she may not stomp off and slam the door behind her, causing MY bulletin board to fall from the wall. Furthermore, I will no longer allow cell phones at work. They are a distraction and this morning you spent (not kidding) 3 hours on it talking to everyone and their neighbor about God knows what.

You, as a valued member of our staff, are allowed an hour for lunch at 2 half hour breaks, one in the morning, one in the afternoon. FOR GOD'S SAKE PLEASE TAKE THESE BREAKS SO I CAN HAVE SOME TIME ALONE IN THE QUIET. You are expected to arrive at 8:00 am Monday through Fridays (not 7 am) and work until at least 4:00 pm (not leaving at 3) Office products are to be used for OFFICE USE ONLY, do not take a whole ream of paper home and not expect me to notice. Do not take the Director's nice stapler on his desk and replace it with the crappy, jam-prone stapler from your desk. See that new 3-hole paper punch behind me on my other desk? Thats for my use only, dont let your kids use it to make a mess and then drop it on the floor. Office copiers, fax machines, and printers (and by extension the ink and toner in them) are, again, for office use. Dont make scrapbooks from our supplies, dont be wasteful and print off 100 pages of a document that you didnt want any way. Those marker boards in our office and across the hall in the classroom are for staff use only and for instructional use only. Your kids shall not use these boards to play hangman and write words like Fuck Shit and bastard that can't be erased very well.

Remember that I am the director, I pretty much can do anything I want any time I want. If I want to work from home today and still claim hours, I can, this isn't an option for staff (except for the assistant director). If I want to take 2 hours lunch break, thats my prerogative. If I want to have everyone wear blue on mondays or pink polos on thursdays, I can. If I want to change the arrangement of our office, I can. if I want to come in at 9 am every day then I have that right. Above all else, know this, and do not for get this, that I can fire you at will at any time for any thing. I do not need a reason. I hope that this policy can be followed at all times. We must continue to work together as a team to... why bother anymore, YA'LL CAN GO TO HELL!

Sincere Thanks,
Injum Jim

Now that I got that out of my system I feel better. And for your information, all of the stuff in my dream memo happened at some point. I'm really not a dick, its just that when you sit in the same office with the same person day in and day out any little thing starts to bug you and when the whole day seems to bug the hell outta you its mind numbing and tedious to continue to sit here and keep it all in. My superbowl plans, stay at home, watch the tv, check out all the commercials and then go to bed.

Thats all folks!
Later
Injum Jim & the Drumsticks (my fictitious band name)

Wanted

Okay so I watched Wanted over the weekend, the movie with Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman and Common, and other unknown actors. All in all its a good movie. It's fairly bloody, but its the good type of bloody. Okay so Angelina, she's hot! Every, well almost every female perspective I get concerning Angelina, I usually get the same responses: "she's so not hot" "she's so ugly" "she's hot if you like that fake ass plastic surgery look" "she's too skinny, and her lips are too huge"

I guarantee that around 98.2% of straight, heterosexual guys out there find her attractive in some way. Sure she's a little odd looking but its that novelty that is attractive. So to my surprise, when Sara said that Angelina was beautiful in her own way, or I think she said something more like theres some strange beauty to her. Okay so there is one exception to my "almost every female perspective" statement, I do have a cousin, a female cousin who is absolutely in love with Angelina Jolie. Like the I'm enamored with her love, not I want to dyke out with her or anything, although she said she would if the opportunity came up.

Okay I'll stop my Jolie love-fest. I might start screaming "LEAVE ANGIE ALONE!!" My mother was doggin on Ms. Jolie the other evening. She was saying "how can a woman who was hanging all over that billy bob guy and saying that they had sex in the limo and wore viles of blood around her neck all of a sudden become this great humanitarian because she adopted some kids from other countries?" Point taken. I should get back to work, i'm so bored. Its time for me to shred some paper and piss off the other office workers! I'm OUT! Injum

I'm a bad foodie . . .

Apparently, because I don't appreciate purees and also don't really care for soufflés. Here's the deal. A soufflé is fussy to make, something I don't mind. I don't mind having to work to make something amazing. I don't mind when making something takes a while either, or goes in stages, or whatnot. It's just that every soufflé I've had doesn't live up to the hard work I've put into it. That's my issue with purees too. You work had for a long time, you do several stages of work, and then you finally put it into your mouth an it's just not comparable to the time and effort. It doesn't taste that great, it's not that interesting to be able to compensate for not tasting totally delicious, and in reality, you've spent a lot of time on nothing.

I've made a lot of soufflés, I've eaten a lot of soufflés, I've read a lot of soufflé recipes. They always sound so amazing too but it's all a lie. It's always some sort of disappointment to me. My mother loves to make them too. According to everyone and anyone who's ever eaten any soufflé she's ever made- it's the best they've ever had. So maybe I'm being a bad daughter, but I just don't think it's that great either. It's both a textural thing and a flavor thing. I don't enjoy the texture of a soufflé and I always feel they are under-seasoned or overwhelming.

I recently saw recipes for two different soufflés that sounded particularly spectacular. As I was pondering them I called my mom, to discuss the recipes, and she gets all huffy and says, "If you don't even like mine, why bother to make it on your own now? You've made several and never liked them." This is true. I have made several. Apparently I am as good at making them as my mom but I never enjoy eating it. I was emailing back and forth with another fellow foodie (though she is more established in the world than I am) and mentioned my disdain for purees and soufflés and got an email back so acid in tone that I thought for sure that I offended her immortal soul.

I was annoyed by this because it's not like I was preaching the joys of velveeta, hard boiled egg, and tomato soup casserole (a favorite of my grandmother who is currently in an insane asylum). There are so many other delicacies that I enjoy! Is this some sort of prereq of being into food that you have to like everything you put into your mouth that takes time and effort? Because if that's the case, then I' rather be a food enjoyer than a foodie. I'd rather be a cook than a chef then. I almost wanted to email her back and say, "well I like canned sardines on triscuits too so boo to you."

Anyways, one soufflé had black truffles and white cheddar in it, the other was smoked salmon and gruyere. I'm so annoyed right now by both my mother and my fellow foodie friends responses to my disdain of souffle that I am almost tempted to try to make one of the stupid things. But I wonder, would my reaction to it be tainted by annoyance?

I'm so thrilled!

I'm so excited to be watching the Inauguration today. I can't even focus very much on homework, I'm too excited. I've managed to get bits and pieces of housework and unpacking and reading done but I'm glued to the tv, frankly. Even though all I have watched hasn't been that monumental, I don't care. In celebration of our new President, I'm making chili and brownies- apparently two of his favorite foods. I'm sad that there are people who are bitter over his being our new President- it just kind of dillutes the fact that they are a part of a huge moment in our times. Get over the fact that he's black, that he's controversial, whatever, and get on the bandwagon to see where 2009 and a new President can take us! Red or blue, can't we just embrace change? Well, I am. Today is a happy day. Let's celebrate! To new beginnings!

Salud President Obama!

Peace out-

Chatterbox Sara

Huh Say What Kanye?

Love Lockdown-

It's kind of a sexy title for a song. It evokes a certain mood, thats for sure. I love the djembe-esque drums. I definitely want to shake the junk pregnancy has implanted into my gelatinous trunk. So imagine how excited I was that the video came on vh1 the other day! I was definitely ready to see some fabulousness. After all, I secretly have a spot in my heart for Kanye. Anyone remember him spouting about how President Bush hates black people at the big concert for Hurricane Katrina relief? That cemented it in my brain, he's a total funbag! I also really loved "Stronger" because when I first heard it after his speaking fiasco I thought "This dude is automatically on the CIA's terrorist list." After all, any dissenter of any sort makes it onto that list- look at James Taylor! I mean really. "Cats in the Cradle" dude? Really?

So imagine my shock and dismay when I finally view this video. It was beyond comprehension. It was totally baffling. The first part of this video is all white and silver and austere and he's dressed in white too, mumbling the words to the song. Then as you're sort of getting used to that, out of nowhere comes a tribe of Africans. Like hundreds of Africans, in battle and banging on djembe's and dancing and covered in paint. If that totally doesn't go with this video about losing the one you love and being stagnanted because of it, lets bring in some naked chicks in glow in the dark paint with tribal designs all over their bodies. Let's have them grope each other a bunch and lets have what looks like a creepy shaman/dead warrior dude in the weird weird white house with Kanye clutching his head.

The video ends with Kanye on the couch still mumbling. After we've had all these crazy shots of African soldiers and African dancers and drummers and naked chicks painted up in neon paint, lets just end this in the same wierdo austere way. I watched the video three different times by myself and decided to watch it with Nolan, because he's far less literal than me. Maybe HE would get it. He just watched it quietly with his eyebrows knitted together, chewing his lip, and afterward he says, much to my dismay, "What on earth was THAT about?" Well that sunk my heart. I was COUNTING on him being able to give me some sort of explanation. So he says "Well, lets look it up, and see what Kanye says it's about." Oh. Good idea. Doh.

So we read several explanations from Kanye- none of which make sense at all. The whole Love Lockdown album is about his break up with a long time girlfriend and it's meant to be his most personal and explore different aspects of his talent. Ok, thats fine. Then he talked about the video, which is apparently a tributary to Patrick Bateman's character in American Psycho. Wait, say that again. Huh? He liked the aesthetic of the movie and how the character was obsessed with order and labels and wanted to convey that in this video. Well, what the heck does that have to do with an entire African tribe being in your video about being obsessed with your ex? I mean, what? Why are they banging drums, dancing crazy war dances, Depicting battles, and why are there shamans in the house with you being creepy, and why are there glow in the dark naked girls feeling each other up?

Is this art? Am I this out of touch? I mean, I don't remember any African tribes in American Psycho and I'm certainly baffled by the whole way that that fits into the theme of this video. Someone make me understand. Help me find the way to comprehend this weirdness. Here's the lyrics too. You try and tell me how these go with that video.

Im not lovin you, the way I wanted to
What I had to do, had to run from you
Im in love with you, but the vibe is wrong
And that haunted me, all the way home
So ya never know, never never know
Never know enough, til its over love
Til we lose control, system overload
Screamin no no no, no no
I aint lovin you, the way I wanted to
See I wanna move, but cant escape from you
So I keep it low, keep a secret code
So everybody else dont have to know

So keep ya love locked down, ya love locked down (3x)
You keep ya love locked down, you lose

Im not lovin you, the way I wanted to
I cant keep my cool, so I keep it true
I got somethin to lose, so I gotta move
I cant keep myself, and still keep you too
So I keep in mind, when Im on my own
Somewhere far from home, In the danger zone
How many times did it take til I finally got through
you lose, you lose
I aint lovin you, the way I wanted to
See I had to go, see I had to go
No more wastein time, we cant wait for life
which is wastin time, wheres the finish line
kanye west lyrics on www.lyrics-celebrities.anekatips.com

So keep ya love locked down, ya love locked down (3x)
You keep ya love locked down, you lose

Im not lovin you, the way i wanted to
I met no one new, I got no one new
No I said im through, but got love for you
But im not lovin you, the way I wanted to
Gotta keep it goin, keep the lovin goin
Keep it on a roll, only god knows
Am I into you, baby im confused
You choose, you choose
I aint lovin you, the way I wanted to
Way I got to go, I dont need you
I been on this road, too many times before
I aint lovin you, the way I wanted to

So keep ya love locked down, ya love locked down
Keepin ya love locked down, ya love locked down
Keepin ya love locked down, ya love locked down
Keepin ya love locked down, you lose
So keep ya love locked down, ya love locked down
Keepin ya love locked down, ya love locked down
If you keep ya love locked down, ya love locked down
Keepin ya love locked down, you lose

Peaceout-

Chatterbox Sara

Let's Eat Baby Food!

I would definitely identify myself as a foodie that is ever in training. I love food, I want to publish cookbooks, I want to be Martha's Rival- we all know these things. I love following the trends in the food world just as much as following the pages of W or Vogue. But right now there is a strange fad going on that I am kind of failing to comprehend. Now I've tried it a few times and it's OKAY, but merely OKAY. It's definitely not anything that I would devote entire sections of magazines or cooking shows to because really, anyone can do it, but why would you really want to?

It's the trend of puree's. Fruit and vegetable purees. Not added into dishes or sauces, but rather served as actual dishes. Otherwise basically known as the baby food phenomena. To me anyways, this is a bit beyond comprehension. I know anymore, what with the economy and political strife and what not, comfort food is big. I do also enjoy and understand eating "outside the box" and that purees are majorily outside the box, but really? Baby food basically.

People are trying to chic it up with exotic vegetables, herbs, etc, but really that's what I would do to introduce my 6 month old to new flavors, not something I as an adult needs to do to enjoy vegetables. What's wrong with sauteeing or steaming your veggies? Or really, since we're American, go ahead and batter 'em and fry 'em up, good. Are we really so lazy now that we need our vegetables to be at the consistency of applesauce so that we basically lap it up and don't have to do things like chew? To achieve a dreamy consistency, one pretty much has to boil veggies till theres no nutritive value left, so really, by then especially whats the point?

Perhaps my prejudice comes from having a small child and from having worked with the elderly and disabled at places like SESDAC- where many of the people you care for need their foods pureed. Puree becomes a hell of a lot less appetizing when you have to puree everything from ice cream to meat loaf to veggies to bread. You see what you have to do to thin things out and achieve correct consistencies, and you'll lose your appetite for anything pureed real fast. Watching pureed anything dribble down peoples chins to comingle with spit and other foods makes puree even less appealing.

Really, no one has given a decent explanation as to why this has hit the foodie world with such fervor. I've tried a few purees and they taste . . . okay. Not spectacular, nothing to induce me to want to recreate it every night at home for my family. I'm pretty sure if I gave Nolan a plate with a glop of puree on it to be enjoyed on its own or what not, he probably would just sort of stare at me and sigh. As adults, aren't we supposed to be past that juvenile point where we need our veggies disguised in order to enjoy them? Aren't we supposed to eat salads with every meal and enjoy veggies in all different ways- crunchy, steamed, whatever?

Not to mention all the extra effort that goes into making purees. Granted I made a lot of Evas baby food, but that was usually from necessity and wanting her to try new things. but to deliberately prep veggies, boil them down to mush, and process them till they are "smooth like buttah" takes quite a bit of time. I plan on making baby food again for this baby, but that doesn't mean I want to eat it. As an adult, I do crave texture. Children are the ones who need textureless eating for awhile.

Really, I'm way picky about texture of most anything. As a younger person it was the number one reason why my mom couldn't get me to eat some things. I spent my childhood in the kitchen and I enjoy my daughter learning to do the same and hope to make a mini foodie out of her, but texture is something that makes or breaks a meal for me. If my asparagus is boiled and stringy instead of crisp and springy (Oh a rhyme!), I can't eat it. If my meat is cooked beyond recognition of anything other than carcinogenic leather, no thank you. Well cooked is almost more important to me than well seasoned. In my book theres not a lot you can do to season purees that will make me want to eat them.

I really wonder if this is just part of a whole "leave no stone unturned" philosophy that foodies are into. It's a philosophy I definitely get. But that doesn't mean I'm going to be cooking up leaches and dog poo anytime soon. I believe in adventurous eating and cooking but somehow this doesn't even seem adventurous, it just seems. . . . well gross. Forgive my ignorance but really? Do you ever crave a ja of baby food? I think not.

Peace out yo-

Chatterbox Sara

Tampons and Queso

I'd like to start this blog by noting that this was Jim-bo's idea. See, I've been devoid of blogging inspiration lately. Everytime I start a blog or get into a blog, it's incredibly boring, intensely unfunny, Maybe my golden moment is over, maybe m y time in the sun is forever shadowed, maybe I am walking through the valley of blogging death?

Or I can talk to you about tampons and queso. See, I pretty much make the best queso ever and it's been much imitated but never replicated. Even if I give you the recipe I guarantee it still won't taste as good as mine. I may be totally boasting in your opinion but trust me, everyone who has gotten this recipe out of me has said this of their own efforts.

"Can't youuuu make it for me? Mine just wasn't the same!"

No, it wasn't. Because frankly, I am Martha's rival. Boo yah. Man, I hate that stupid word boo-yah. Is it in urbandictionary.com Jim-bo? I just ate three raspberry zingers and several cookies, and some Diet Dr. Thunder, some queso dip, and I want a Snickers but I bet that would make me barf. Maybe just a bit. I don't know if I should so easily hand out my queso dip recipe. It's truly a product of being stuck in the Midwest but craving spicy, fatty, greasy, cheesy goodness. It's probably my brain starting to morph into the slog that is a midwestern brain, pretty soon I'll cook everything in cream of mushroom soup and think that wearing khaki cargo capris is synonymous for formal wear.

Ok, I don't know. I'm torn on whether or not to share this recipe. We'll see. Moving onto tampons. Moving helps you purge your existence, you know? You get to go through every corner of your entire house and pack or throw away. Well as I was cleaning out a bathroom cupboard, I found somewhere near 3.5 boxes of tampons in all different sizes. This is strange for several reasons, one of course because I'm in a family way, two because I only use one brand and type of tampon, and three because why on earth did I need 3 1/2 boxes each containing a minimum of 40 tampons. I mean that's over 120 tampons. Why didn't I realize I had all of these? I know I was buying other boxes of tampons in the meantime, I never remember buying those HUGE boxes.

Maybe they are leftover from another move? I don't know. This move has me incredibly frustrated. In September and October Nolan and I spent weeks throwing stuff out, donating stuff, recycling, etc. We eliminated just tons of crap. But as I unpack my new house, all I find is crap we missed that still needs thrown out or donated. This makes me want to cut my own ears off. Literally.

Oh great. Eva just up-ended the coffee table on herself. Geez kid. I suppose someone will turn me into Child Protective Services for that one.

Man I am so discouraged about unpacking this dumb house. It's getting old. I need things to organize stuff into and sort and etc., because my OCD will cosume me otherwise, but alas, no money to do that so crap just sits around in boxes, better irritating me every day. No wonder I have insomnia, my house is a nightmare right now.

Ok, see this is what I mean. This damned blog went downhill so fast, its just astonishing. It sucks majorily. So here's my recipe, just so I leave you with something good. Ugh.

Queso Dip

16 oz can pinto beans, drained
1 can Rotal tomatoes and Peppers (the Hot kind- they only come in one size btw)
1 small can diced green chilis (I think it's like 2 or 3 oz)
1/2 small red onion, diced
1 lb "Mexican Flavored" Velveeta
1/2 C. Cream (optional- if you like cheese dips to be thinner add it- but USE CREAM NOT MILK)

Throw everything together in a pan or a crockpot and heat till melted and bubbly. Stir regularly to prevent burning and to combine everything. This recipe DOES NOT WORK with jarred salsa- that just makes it disgusting and gloppy. Don't add cream cheese- then it gets lumpy. You can also add jalepeno slices or use the Mild or Medium Queso if you don't like it very spicy, but that automatically makes you a wuss in my book.

Enjoy sorta.

Ugh.

Peace out yo-

Chatterbox Sara

One Word: Bromance

I'm avoiding doing my "homework" for my professional development meeting tomorrow right? I have to read a chapter in the book and be able to inform the other attendees of the main points. I'm sittin in the hotel room, watching MTV. I watched the first episode of the latest RealWorld installment. Anymore now it's become so scripted that it hardly resembles the "real world" but in some elements it does. But ANYWAYS theres a show called Bromance on MTV. This guy, I don't know who he is or why he's considered famous and got his own show but he has all these guys competing to be his best friend right...

Bromance, as defined by urbandictionary.com, "describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males." I'm trying to think if I've ever had a "bromance". I think I can safely say no? I've had best friends who really know me. Yeah, we were two guys who cried in front of each other, nothin wrong with that. Would that constitute a bromance? Or would it be with another best friend who I know better than anyone else, is that a bromance? Or what about the best friend who I grew up with, who I've shared alot of experiences with, is that a bromance? Or what about another best friend who I can have an argument with and then the next second be laughing uncontrolably with because we realized our argument was stupid, is that part of a bromance? Perhaps I've had a bromance once or twice.

I'm not willing to go as far as saying its a Bromance in the urban dictionary meaning of the word. I don't know how you can have a bromance by having a bunch of guys competing for your bromantic attention. Each of these guys, guarenteed have alternative motives. (Side note I'm pretty sure I have a federal agent or someone staying in the hotel room next to me cuz he's driving a big white suburban with lights on it and he comes and goes at odd times, anyways) Can you go out to purposely find a best friend or form a bromance? Can you create, under artificial circumstances, something that is often genuine and spontaneous? The best friendships often happen by accident, in my world anyway.

How does a person go about developing trust in another individual? Thats a topic we discussed in professional development today and its really something to think about. Any one that you know, how have you gotten to the point where you could totally trust that person? Is it a sense of security, or of confidence, or maybe because they are understanding? Whatever way it happens, it can never be accomplished under false pretenses. For some, its hard to trust anyone, let alone some complete stranger. This show is one of the ultimate of unreal reality shows that people are somewhat consumed with. I guess I dont like watching scripted reality. I prefer cops (even though it is so freakin corny) over survivor (I hate survivor). (uh ohh, a guy is crying on Bromance, touching moment in 3... 2... 1...)

Oh, theres a movie about the rapper Biggie called notorious. How is it that death brings infamy? He and that other guy, Tupac died how long ago and everyone is still bringing them up. I bet had they lived, they would be washed up former rappers that no one knows anything about. I'm just saying, its easy to push all this glory on someone to make their death not be in vain and if people could attach some higher meaning to it then they have a savior. So why can't places get comfortable chairs when you're required to sit for extended periods of time. I dont know how many times my legs or ass fell asleep during todays training but it was too frequent for my tastes. Give me a couch or at least a well padded, cushiony office chair, not some metal folding chair dressed up with maroon fabric and a quarter inch of "padding" Oh Oh and we had "snacks" which consisted of bags of zero calorie cookies and granola clusters that were a little past their prime. Working for a state funded program absolutely sucks because there is only enough funding for the bare essentials, no frills or fluff. I better get back to studying, if you want to call it that... I just though that since I graduated college I was done with such childish activities, because afterall, these "trainers/presenters" are being paid to tell me how to better myself, why should I do any work? Off to my books!

I'm not racist or anything

I just wanted to make sure no one thought i was a racist because I realized that I was bad-mouthing two people of darker skin color. To be fair I feel obligated to berate a white person.

Obligatory White person bashing
Nancy Grace. Okay, this crazy has a talk show on CNN. She is like a former prosecuting attorney and all that stuff. the lady is down right psycho. She is the number one person on her show. She doesn't give anyone on the show a chance to talk or voice a differing opinion. She has an annoying voice. This whole "where's caylee?" thing, yeah its sad, i know and understand. But Nancy Grace was just using it as ratings material. Sensationalism at its worst. She needs to be kicked off the air and whoever that decided to give her a show be fired as well. there, that should balance things for now...

A Cold Harsh Winter Night

Here I am. Sitting here blogging and watching House. Its cold outside. Its snowing. Its windy. I'm bored. Can You tell? I'm in a Pierre hotel, one day down, and two to go. I attended my meetings today, tomorrow is the training (Part 1). Okay so I think I've just about seen it all. Okay I know I like to rip on Obama and all but seriously, Obama coins? The guy isn't even in office yet and heres Montel Williams pushing a set of Obama coins. "GET YOUR PIECE OF HISTORY TODAY!" I'm sure this will be the first in a long line of Obama-mania items that come out. He's not even served 1 day as president and I've been tired of him since last year. I didnt cry when he won the election, I didnt see it as a national healing. I wasn't about to vote for the guy because he had dark skin color (like so many of "my" people had).

South Dakota Winters
Beginning to hate 'em. I left home this morning for the 2 and some hour trip to my current frozen hell and it was freezing rain that was coming down, this changed to snow, which changed to wind, which changed to wind AND snow. Now its just cold. Winter was fun as a kid, but then so where slinkies and play dough. Now its just as lame and twice as unbearable.

Oprah
Okay so I was watching CNN the other night, a quasi-legitimate news source and there was a whole segment on "Oprah's Struggle" Basically, they were chronicalling the big O's weight fluctuations over the years. And now she's let her self gain 40 pounds heavier. Here's what O had to say (Paraphrasing with quotations) "Out of all the things I'm great at, out of all the things I can do, I couldnt keep the weight off" Get off the cross. There are plenty of other people out there that have more valiant struggles than yours. I know you are your favorite person but stop it. Its annoying, childish, and stupid. I guess the whole "i'm never going to eat beef again" thing didnt work out because all you ate was ice cream and candy bars.

Does anyone use those sun lamp things in hotels? Theres one in this hotel bathroom and I have no idea why. My last apartment had one too. Two GIANT ASS red lights that would shine down on the toilett. Maybe I'll try it tonight and go to training tomorrow morning looking like I just got back from the Bahamas.

Okay so I'm at a hotel, we've established that. I'm paranoid that I'm going to catch head lice or be attached by bed bugs while i'm here. My head is itching just thinking about it.

Okay, gonna do some channel surfing and sitting here, LATER

Jim's Some Favorites of 2008

Jim has some favorites too, the list is not comprehensive but its sufficient for now

Favorite Movie
I haven't had a favorite one this year
Favorite Favorite Restaurant Meal
It would have to be from a restaurant here in G-town. its the chicken fried rice which is no where close to actual chinese or asian food what so ever but everyone here loves it eventhough it consists of mostly rice - its okay
Favorite Homemade Meal
"homemade" pepperoni pizza
Favorite TV Show
HOUSE
Favorite Song
"I Kissed a Girl" Katy Perry (I hate this song, its annoying)
Favorite Website
BestBuy or Amazon
Favorite Blog
Chatterbox Sara and Injun Jim, DUH!
Favorite Purchases
music from iTunes
Favorite thing Eva said
Jim-bo's Here
Favorite thing Nolan said
the night we were watching the star wars clone wars thing and I was trying to ask whats the difference between space and hyperspace and Sara was trying to shut Nolan up and he blurts it out because i could just tell it bothered him
Favorite thing Sara said
Mr. Delicious
Favorite thing I said
Oh God its Everywhere (from work)
Favorite Random saying
NANANA STOOPID
Favorite Celebrity Stupidity
When everyone was saying BRITTNEY IS BACK! <-- I wish she stayed away
Favorite Headline
Sarah Pahlin is McCain's VP Pick!
Favorite News Story
Hugh Hefner is dating twins now, apparently he's concerned about the economy as well because he downsized from 3 girlfriends to 2 fake twins
Favorite Celebrity
Tom Cruise cuz he's insane, or Mel Gibson cuz he's a crazy catholic
Favorite Band
O.A.R.
Favorite Eva moment
When we were drinking coffee, I was drinking out of a mug with pink flowers on it and she had a little pink mug
Favorite Occurrences
Bowling with Betty (okay that really didnt happen), Sara being molested at work, Getting my new job, sleeping, DVR-ing, and Sara's drunk-fest halloween party
Favorite Stupid Moment
I was in a conference call at work and had the phone on speaker but didnt mute the mouthpiece, a coworker came in the room, spilled his coffee and yelled "Oh Shit!"

I'm Here!!

Sara keeps asking "where on earth is Injun Jim"

Well I'm right here.

I'm currently back at work, and after a week and a half vacation over the holidays, I wish I was still able to sleep in. Want to know whats sad? On my vacation, I came in to the office alot. Yeah so even my vacation wasn't a true vacation because I still have a thousand different things to worry about at work. I had an interesting discussion with Sara while I was back in town that one evening. We were talking about my absolute reign over the program I am director of. Apparently I can't let any one usurp my role as Director. Therefore, no-shit-taking Jim is now at work.

Okay thats not completely true. But in a recent series of meetings I had yesterday, I managed to maintain control and accurately convey what I wanted and did not budge when the higher-ups (administration) wanted me to cave. This felt good. Perhaps they were testing me because my new assertiveness was met considerably well. Here I am, a guy young enough to be some of these peoples son or grandson (hell even great grandson) and I was able to accomplish my goals and get what I wanted. And I owe this to Sara. Without her constant "DO NOT LET ANYONE USURP YOU" being beat in to my head all while I was there, I wouldn't have acted as I had yesterday.

I'm tired, I'm feeling sick, I dont want to go to work. I thought all that ended when I stopped working at you-know-where. Apparently not. Okay so should I do some of my favorite things like sara, just to copy someone else since I can't come up with something original... I can tell you now that my favorite 2008 things won't be as interesting as hers. I have no favorite foodie book or favorite cook book or whatever else she has favorites of. But my list could be unique. Okay I'll concoct a list and post it when I am finished. I am doing this despite having a grant, 2 reports, and a bunch more stuff I could be working on but it'll get done.

My favorite thing to eat EVER.

Salmon and Cream Cheese Bagel recipe
Ingredients:

1 six-ounce plain bagel. (or an everything bagel if you wanna be decadent)
3 thin rings of red onion.
3 ounces of thinly sliced smoked salmon.
¼ cup of thinly sliced cucumber.
2 tablespoons of chive cream cheese.
½ teaspoon of drained capers.
Preparation Instructions:

Slice the bagel in half and spread the cream cheese on the cut sides.

On one half, layer the cucumber, smoked salmon, red onion, and capers.

Place the other half, cream cheese side down, over filling.

Serve.

Huh . . . .

Where the heck is Injun Jim? He needs to get posting and fast!

In other news, Nolan and I have decided on trying to do a v-log "drama" series based on Madonna and Justin Timberlake's "4 Minutes" video. This show is going to be about what marriage would look like between Justified and Madame Madge.

We're moving into our new place this weekend! God bless trailers! Can't wait to go back to trailer living!

Now where on earth is Injun Jim???

Peaceout-

Chatterbox

Some Favorites of 2008

This list is by no means complete, but it's late in coming I guess. Enjoy!

Favorite Movie
Sex and the City
Favorite Book
One Fifth Avenue
Favorite Cookbook
Martha Stewart Cookies
Favorite Foodie Book
Cooking for Mr. Latte
Favorite Favorite Restaurant Meal
Salmon Mezza Luna at Lucianos, Coconut “Snow ball” at Ichiban
Favorite Homemade Meal
Roasted Tomato Pasta, Fried Green Tomatoes, Latkes
Favorite Recipe
Earl Grey Cookies, Russian Onion Dill bread
Favorite TV Show
Gossip Girl, Intervention, Top Chef, The Cleaner
Favorite Nailpolish
Chanel Ballerina, Essie Sugar Daddy, Essie Mod Squad, OPI Duchess of York
Favorite Song
“Love like this” Natasha Bettingfield, “The Water” by Feist, “Winter Song” by Sara Bareilles, “Hot n Cold” by Katy Perry
Favorite Makeup
Nars Orgasm Blush, Clinique Lilac Supermoist Lipslick, Dior Dioshow Mascara
Favorite Website
AMAZON, My Bimbo
Favorite Blog
Chatterbox Sara and Injun Jim, DUH!
Favorite Purchases
Eva's hand puppets, new Biofit bras from Victoria's Secret, a pink tea kettle, The Nutcracker with Baryshnikov, all new cookbooks
Favorite thing Eva said
“What the hell?” “Because Cheeze-it Crisps is born!”
Favorite thing Nolan said
“What do we have to go to the store for again now?”
Favorite thing I said
“I haven't got any ice cream in my bra Jack.”
Favorite Random saying
“Waaaauuhhhh”
Favorite Magazine
“Domino” “Vogue”
Favorite Toddler Show
Ni Hao Kai Lan, Yo Gabba Gabba

Favorite Celebrity Stupidity
Everytime Amy Winehouse went to rehab
Favorite Headline
Barack Wins Democratic Presidential Nomination
Favorite News Story
Barack Obama is President!
Favorite Celebrity
Amy Winehouse
Favorite Singer
Gavin DeGraw
Favorite Eva moment
Eva demanding sushi and then french fries at Coco Palace
Favorite Occurrences
Getting pregnant, Barack Obama winning the election, bbq'ing at Tim's house, quitting my job, anytime Nolan practices being Justin Timberlake, being asked if my nose was real at the grocery store, the drunken debacle that was my Halloween party, Thanksgiving
Favorite Stupid Moment
Shaving one leg repeatedly then whining about my other leg being “wierdly hairy” to everyone