Ok maybe ten other things. These are reasons why Nolan is a good son, good husband, and good man, despite all my precious inlaws thoughts into why he's such an obvious piece of crap.
1. When Nolan couldn't decide what he wanted to do with his career, he quit school, got a job and refused his parents help. He told them he didn't want to waste their money they had set aside for him to go to college on a private school when he wasn't sure what he wanted to do.
2. He forgave his mothers constant accusations of him being homosexual- which were unfounded. She even called me and asked me if I thought he was.
3. He forgave her when she called me to tell me that she thought he would be an awful husband and father and that I should divorce him.
4. He forgave her calling him a liar and a waste of space, over a lie he told in 6th grade.
5. At a young age, that most other men would NEVER dream of doing, he chose to marry me and adopt my daughter. Tell me how many barely 22 year old men would do that?
6. He sees Eva as his own and has been a more tremendous father than I ever had. He views both our children as equally his and wants nothing more than to be the best father to them.
7. He works two jobs, goes to school full time, and is married and has a child.
8. He is an undoubtedly loyal husband, always attentive to mine and our marriage and our child's needs first over his own.
9. He forgave his prents saying that they would disown him if he ever decided to try to meet his biological parents.
10. He is his own person and takes responsibility for himself. He always takes responsibility when the blame is his own and a lot of the time even when it is not. He is humble and honest.
Tell me those aren't qualities anyone would want out of a son. I dare you.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Just a quick aside, I am not interested in your drama.
So for almost a year I have refrained from mentioning my inlaws on this blog. Out of respect for them despite their obvious lack of respect for us, I decided to keep our troubles with them a bit more private. Not anymore. I have hit the last straw. FOR THE FINAL TIME. Let me give you all a brief history of everything that happened since I decided to not bring them up anymore. My inlaws had somebody tracking Nolan and I's blogs and online personalities- facebook, myspace, whatever. Mother inlaw read some things she didnt like, as is what happens when you basically eavesdrop and I found out. We didn't speak for a few months, finally all reconciled and aattempted to establish a truce.
Truce never worked. Why? Because despite their repeated statements that they were willing to let bygones be bygones, forgive and forget, move on and accept their son and his family, IT NEVER HAPPENED. Oh, they'll tell you it did happen but I wielded hundreds of phone calls about their resentments, their bitterness, how they couldn't accept or understand their son. They were really stuck on the idea that Nolan only loved them for money.
Like they are Warren Buffet or Bill Gates or something. No. We're both only children. We wanted a close knit family. We hoped to make them happy, be close, and all move on with our lives. Never happened. At the time of my grandfathers funeral in August, they behaved atrociously. We were in a financial pickle to get to the funeral so we asked if they could possibly help us because of how bad gas prices were. We asked my mom too, of course she helped. But DANA AND MYRON got on the phone, yelled at their son for being such a dissappointment, for being some sort of liar, and for misusing them. it was disgusting. At the time of my family's grief they could only think about themselves.
A little aside. We've never misused them or mistreated them. We've had to establish clear boundaries with them, Nolan has had financial troubles for which he had to negotiate a loan with them to get out of, and basically we've had to deal with their paranoia, resentment, and bitterness for years now. They have continued to say awful things about their son, manipulate us, and have us groveling to try and fix this. FINALLY, we said no more. This relationship is not healthy and it never will be. We sent them a letter with our apologies for all the ways we've apparently wronged them by being alive and stated that unfortunately, it was time to distance ourselves. We said that we've forgiven them but that its clear this relationship can't work.
Then they go and do something so atrocious. They did this one other time that we were temporarily estranged. They involved Nolan's grandmother. She is elderly, clearly, not in the best frame of mind, and they go drag her into the middle. They manipulate her into thinking we're money grubbing users who do nothing but mistreat Dana and Myron. Last time, his grandmother confronted me and blamed me for everything, something that I was mortally offended by- not by Ina, of course, she had no idea, but by Dana for misleading her mother about her own grandson.
Then they go do it again. we finally broke the news to them that they are pregnant and we get another letter from Ina begging us to forgive Dana when Dana did nothing to try and hurt us. HOW DARE YOU BE SO DISHONEST DANA? HOW DARE YOU? YOU WOULD LIE TO YOUR OWN MOTHER AND THEN WONDER WHY YOUR SON IS ESTRANGED FROM YOU. YOUR SON WHO IS SO GODDAMNED DISSAPPPOINTING AND AWFUL IN YOUR OPINION- WHY DO YOU EVEN WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM IF IN YOUR EYES, HE TREATS YOU SO BADLY?
I'm not going to say we've been perfect in our behavior. We never claimed to be. We got into bad financial straights and needed help and asked for a loan. Any money they have ever given us, we will be paying back, BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT CHARITY. But the things we have been accused of, well, frankly we're not guilty. Nolan is an only child, an adopted child who has no biological ties, all he has ever wanted was to be his own person and not to disappoint his parents.
Dana and Myon loved him until he became his own person then decided that for some reason, he had wronged them by being his own person. It has hurt Nolan more than I could even write in a 1000 page novel to be such an apparent dissappointment to them. He kept trying and trying and trying, and he tried the most for his grandmother, because he loves her more than anything. I can understand an elderly woman's wish to reunite her family but I cannot understand her being lead into false pretenses for that BY HER OWN DAUGHTER.
So, Dana and Myron, if you have people reading my blogs like you did before and they print this out for you to read, shame on you. Oh and one last thing, Nolan and I never tried to maintain a relationship with you because of money, which you accussed us of so many times, oh so graciously. WE TRIED BECAUSE WE LOVED YOU AND LOVE INA AND WE WANTED TO MAKE YOU PEOPLE HAPPY. That one reason we kept trying with you, that you falsely accused us of being for money? CORRECTION. WE TRIED FOR INA. WE DID IT FOR HER, WE WANTED HER FAMILY TO BE INTACT. So be honest with her and be honest with yourselves from now on.
Ugh. Sorry guys. I've just kept this to myself for far too long. Didn't mean for the geyser to erupt
Truce never worked. Why? Because despite their repeated statements that they were willing to let bygones be bygones, forgive and forget, move on and accept their son and his family, IT NEVER HAPPENED. Oh, they'll tell you it did happen but I wielded hundreds of phone calls about their resentments, their bitterness, how they couldn't accept or understand their son. They were really stuck on the idea that Nolan only loved them for money.
Like they are Warren Buffet or Bill Gates or something. No. We're both only children. We wanted a close knit family. We hoped to make them happy, be close, and all move on with our lives. Never happened. At the time of my grandfathers funeral in August, they behaved atrociously. We were in a financial pickle to get to the funeral so we asked if they could possibly help us because of how bad gas prices were. We asked my mom too, of course she helped. But DANA AND MYRON got on the phone, yelled at their son for being such a dissappointment, for being some sort of liar, and for misusing them. it was disgusting. At the time of my family's grief they could only think about themselves.
A little aside. We've never misused them or mistreated them. We've had to establish clear boundaries with them, Nolan has had financial troubles for which he had to negotiate a loan with them to get out of, and basically we've had to deal with their paranoia, resentment, and bitterness for years now. They have continued to say awful things about their son, manipulate us, and have us groveling to try and fix this. FINALLY, we said no more. This relationship is not healthy and it never will be. We sent them a letter with our apologies for all the ways we've apparently wronged them by being alive and stated that unfortunately, it was time to distance ourselves. We said that we've forgiven them but that its clear this relationship can't work.
Then they go and do something so atrocious. They did this one other time that we were temporarily estranged. They involved Nolan's grandmother. She is elderly, clearly, not in the best frame of mind, and they go drag her into the middle. They manipulate her into thinking we're money grubbing users who do nothing but mistreat Dana and Myron. Last time, his grandmother confronted me and blamed me for everything, something that I was mortally offended by- not by Ina, of course, she had no idea, but by Dana for misleading her mother about her own grandson.
Then they go do it again. we finally broke the news to them that they are pregnant and we get another letter from Ina begging us to forgive Dana when Dana did nothing to try and hurt us. HOW DARE YOU BE SO DISHONEST DANA? HOW DARE YOU? YOU WOULD LIE TO YOUR OWN MOTHER AND THEN WONDER WHY YOUR SON IS ESTRANGED FROM YOU. YOUR SON WHO IS SO GODDAMNED DISSAPPPOINTING AND AWFUL IN YOUR OPINION- WHY DO YOU EVEN WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM IF IN YOUR EYES, HE TREATS YOU SO BADLY?
I'm not going to say we've been perfect in our behavior. We never claimed to be. We got into bad financial straights and needed help and asked for a loan. Any money they have ever given us, we will be paying back, BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT CHARITY. But the things we have been accused of, well, frankly we're not guilty. Nolan is an only child, an adopted child who has no biological ties, all he has ever wanted was to be his own person and not to disappoint his parents.
Dana and Myon loved him until he became his own person then decided that for some reason, he had wronged them by being his own person. It has hurt Nolan more than I could even write in a 1000 page novel to be such an apparent dissappointment to them. He kept trying and trying and trying, and he tried the most for his grandmother, because he loves her more than anything. I can understand an elderly woman's wish to reunite her family but I cannot understand her being lead into false pretenses for that BY HER OWN DAUGHTER.
So, Dana and Myron, if you have people reading my blogs like you did before and they print this out for you to read, shame on you. Oh and one last thing, Nolan and I never tried to maintain a relationship with you because of money, which you accussed us of so many times, oh so graciously. WE TRIED BECAUSE WE LOVED YOU AND LOVE INA AND WE WANTED TO MAKE YOU PEOPLE HAPPY. That one reason we kept trying with you, that you falsely accused us of being for money? CORRECTION. WE TRIED FOR INA. WE DID IT FOR HER, WE WANTED HER FAMILY TO BE INTACT. So be honest with her and be honest with yourselves from now on.
Ugh. Sorry guys. I've just kept this to myself for far too long. Didn't mean for the geyser to erupt
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Celery sticks with Peanut butter
That's what I'm noshing for my belated lunch. I had insomnia again from 3:30-5:30- it's been awhile since I've had to deal with that, and surprisingly it didn't make it any easier. I've decided to stop bitching in real life about lack of sleep to anyone because it doesn't do any effing good. Anytime you mention how tired you are due to pregnancy and lack of sleep and being up inexplicably for anywhere from 2-4 hours at a time in the dead of the night, I always get the most insensitive responses that are also just plain baffling. I'm not necessarily looking for pity but I don't want to hear the following responses either.
"What's so bad about that? You got back to sleep didn't you?" Yeah. I did. But uninterrupted sleep is ALWAYS better than interrupted, ESPECIALLY when you are awakened every hour to pee, get a drink of something, reaarrange yourself, your pillows, or your husband sawing logs next to you.
"Oh wow, well how many hours of sleep did you get? I find I only need four or five some nights. Really, people don't need that much sleep, do they" Uhhh, you may not need much but I do. In order to be a normal, functioning human being, I NEED 6-9 hours. In order to be a normal, functioning pregnant human being, I need 8-12 hours. I prefer a minimum of 8 hours of sleep no matter what though. I believe in sleep.
"I have insomnia all the time! Once, I stayed up for four days straight, it was totally no big deal." Ok, good for you, but I am to the stage of adulthood where it's no longer cool to talk about how long you can go without sleep. I'm a non-tweaker, folks. I don't believe that its so amazingly cool to go to class without having made it to bed the night before. I don't enjoy the idea of stumbling through my day manic of adrenaline and whatever else my body has got to pump through me just to keep me alive and functioning. Besides that I don't care about your OCD/Caffeine induced insomnia so you can play your damned Wii. This is different.
Ok now that I have that off my chest, I can move onto much more important things. Like having read Jennifer Aniston's interview in last month's Vogue, I found myself wanting to shriek at Anna Wintour, Who on earth cares that she's a 40-something year old "perpetual California girl"? I was bored to tears with this interview. *side note- I just got some celery stuck in my teeth- man I hate that.* People really care about this. They care about her vague statements about Brangelina, and about her love life with John Mayer, and about she just knows that she'll have kids someday. BTW Jenn, John Mayer is just about one of the ugliest musicians alive so he's probably good in the sack or something.
I'm vain and self-centered and materialistic, sure, sure. BUt I also like to read something once in awhile that makes me interested and interesting. I got neither out of this interview. Thank God the rest of the issue was laughable and semi-interesting. It always makes me giggle, in this time of economic crisis, lists from places like Vogue that issue "500 MUST HAVES for under $500" and Anna W waxes angelic on how distressing the economy is and how her mag wants to treat that delicately and blah blah blah. I understand that the new target audience of the mag is the woman who has her own money and isn't afraid to spend it, but come on, they need to watch where their money is going right now too.
Injun Jim came over the other night and it was an interesting night indeed. First he got his min boggled by how gigantic Pepper the Pug has gotten. Pepper is huge now, he's a stocky, sturdy little pack of pug power. Indeed, sometimes when I look at him, I kinda gag over how huge he's gotten. Then Jim-bo further got his mind bedraggled by watching one of our dvd's of the Nutcracker (as per Eva's demands) and this one has Maculay Culkin as the Nutcracker Prince. We had a really enjoyable time being horrible and racist and non-PC watching it. People would probably gag if they knew the horrible things that come out of my brain and mouth sometimes.
Then we started googling and youtubing various Indian and Pow Wow dances and various places on different reservations- how wierd does one get? I mean, really, this is how we spent a Friday evening. Jim was excited over his Christmas gifts, he oggled his three mini bottles of booze repeatedly. I hope he went home and got his drunk on with the equivalent of five shots of booze- max.
Alright I gotta log off for now. Other blogs need my attention and I gotta get ready for our move into a trailer-o-doom.
Peace out yo-
Chatterbox Sara
"What's so bad about that? You got back to sleep didn't you?" Yeah. I did. But uninterrupted sleep is ALWAYS better than interrupted, ESPECIALLY when you are awakened every hour to pee, get a drink of something, reaarrange yourself, your pillows, or your husband sawing logs next to you.
"Oh wow, well how many hours of sleep did you get? I find I only need four or five some nights. Really, people don't need that much sleep, do they" Uhhh, you may not need much but I do. In order to be a normal, functioning human being, I NEED 6-9 hours. In order to be a normal, functioning pregnant human being, I need 8-12 hours. I prefer a minimum of 8 hours of sleep no matter what though. I believe in sleep.
"I have insomnia all the time! Once, I stayed up for four days straight, it was totally no big deal." Ok, good for you, but I am to the stage of adulthood where it's no longer cool to talk about how long you can go without sleep. I'm a non-tweaker, folks. I don't believe that its so amazingly cool to go to class without having made it to bed the night before. I don't enjoy the idea of stumbling through my day manic of adrenaline and whatever else my body has got to pump through me just to keep me alive and functioning. Besides that I don't care about your OCD/Caffeine induced insomnia so you can play your damned Wii. This is different.
Ok now that I have that off my chest, I can move onto much more important things. Like having read Jennifer Aniston's interview in last month's Vogue, I found myself wanting to shriek at Anna Wintour, Who on earth cares that she's a 40-something year old "perpetual California girl"? I was bored to tears with this interview. *side note- I just got some celery stuck in my teeth- man I hate that.* People really care about this. They care about her vague statements about Brangelina, and about her love life with John Mayer, and about she just knows that she'll have kids someday. BTW Jenn, John Mayer is just about one of the ugliest musicians alive so he's probably good in the sack or something.
I'm vain and self-centered and materialistic, sure, sure. BUt I also like to read something once in awhile that makes me interested and interesting. I got neither out of this interview. Thank God the rest of the issue was laughable and semi-interesting. It always makes me giggle, in this time of economic crisis, lists from places like Vogue that issue "500 MUST HAVES for under $500" and Anna W waxes angelic on how distressing the economy is and how her mag wants to treat that delicately and blah blah blah. I understand that the new target audience of the mag is the woman who has her own money and isn't afraid to spend it, but come on, they need to watch where their money is going right now too.
Injun Jim came over the other night and it was an interesting night indeed. First he got his min boggled by how gigantic Pepper the Pug has gotten. Pepper is huge now, he's a stocky, sturdy little pack of pug power. Indeed, sometimes when I look at him, I kinda gag over how huge he's gotten. Then Jim-bo further got his mind bedraggled by watching one of our dvd's of the Nutcracker (as per Eva's demands) and this one has Maculay Culkin as the Nutcracker Prince. We had a really enjoyable time being horrible and racist and non-PC watching it. People would probably gag if they knew the horrible things that come out of my brain and mouth sometimes.
Then we started googling and youtubing various Indian and Pow Wow dances and various places on different reservations- how wierd does one get? I mean, really, this is how we spent a Friday evening. Jim was excited over his Christmas gifts, he oggled his three mini bottles of booze repeatedly. I hope he went home and got his drunk on with the equivalent of five shots of booze- max.
Alright I gotta log off for now. Other blogs need my attention and I gotta get ready for our move into a trailer-o-doom.
Peace out yo-
Chatterbox Sara
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Arm Pit?
So if Sara is in the Arm Pit of South Dakota, could it be that she's in the left arm pit while I'm in the right arm pit? It snowed here last night as well. Granted, we haven't gotten NEARLY as much snow as Sara's neck of the woods. The 150 miles that separates our two little villages must make a ton of difference in our weather related outcomes. Our snow last night was the light fluffy stuff that drifts alot because of the arctic blast coming down from Canada (STOOPID CANADA, with your French language and cold weather).
So today is my last day of work until like January 7 or so. It'll be nice to have some time off BUT I will be coming in to the office over the Holiday break to write grants and job descriptions and action plans and all that good stuff. I also got to get moved out of my black hole of an apartment. Why a black hole? Its sucking money out of me left and right. Thats a Christmas present for me, SOMEONE SUBLEASE MY APARTMENT PLEASE. So anyways, its bitterly cold here, I'm glad it'll be a white christmas. Lets get Christmas over and New Years over cuz then my stress will decrease alot. I'm not stressing over the holidays, I'm stressed over having to cram so much work during my vacation. and all my deadlines fall during this time.
This blog has been hard to write, I've been distracted by a thousand different things. Stoopid Work. That means I should wrap it up for the day so LATER
M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S
H A P P Y H A N U K K A H
H A P P Y N E W Y E A R
So today is my last day of work until like January 7 or so. It'll be nice to have some time off BUT I will be coming in to the office over the Holiday break to write grants and job descriptions and action plans and all that good stuff. I also got to get moved out of my black hole of an apartment. Why a black hole? Its sucking money out of me left and right. Thats a Christmas present for me, SOMEONE SUBLEASE MY APARTMENT PLEASE. So anyways, its bitterly cold here, I'm glad it'll be a white christmas. Lets get Christmas over and New Years over cuz then my stress will decrease alot. I'm not stressing over the holidays, I'm stressed over having to cram so much work during my vacation. and all my deadlines fall during this time.
This blog has been hard to write, I've been distracted by a thousand different things. Stoopid Work. That means I should wrap it up for the day so LATER
M E R R Y C H R I S T M A S
H A P P Y H A N U K K A H
H A P P Y N E W Y E A R
Monday, December 22, 2008
Arm Pit Weather Report
Today the city piled more snow in our drive way. Nolan spent an hour and a half shoveling all the snow. It's now snowing again. Starting December 24th it is supposed to snow continuously through Sunday. Our vehicles have gotten stuck in our own driveway and/or high centered 3 times now. Three other cars have gotten stuck in our driveway. Everywhere you go you see cars sidelined in the ditch, stuck in driveways, high centered, in snow drifts. They should make a horror movie about all this. Gah.
Snowed into insanity-
Chatterbox Sara
Snowed into insanity-
Chatterbox Sara
Sunday, December 21, 2008
A Chatterbox Christmakwaanukkah Wish List
I'm really glad that Injun Jim wants such innocuous things as no more Larry The Cable Guy and for weather channels to refer to our state by its proper name. Pish posh, he says, to things like wanting a Wii or a Hummer or whatever. NOT FOR ME he scoffs as he downloads 200 different remixes of Umbrella off of iTunes. Maybe for Christmas I wanna be like Jim-bo.
Ok, I'll stop teasing, Santa may not like it very much. I need to thin about the things that I really want for my list, I suppose, not just presents, because I can't be selfish when Jim-bo was so generous with his own wish list and asked for such noble things, therefore I probably shouldn't post a link to my wish lists at Amazon or Tiffany's or anything like that. I suppose that would mock our disgraceful American economy.
This is gonna be hard. I do so love to daydream about baubles and thingies I want as presents. I must try not to be soooooo self absorbed.
Wish List 2008 Style-o
1. She'll probably kill me for saying this but I'd really like fr my friend Sarah's string of bad luck to end. She's had a dramatic couple of years, it's time for God to give her a break and just give her a man who wants to put a ring on her finger, a job, a body that functions, and a little bit of self esteem. She's pretty down right now, and while I think she's amazing-o, I understand how a long string of bad things happening can really wear a girl down. Been there, done that, and whle my own luck isn't that great, per sae, she could use a few pick me ups.
2. Eva to finally be fully potty trained and out of diapers for good. I gotta put another baby into diapers in a mere matter of half of a year, I'd like to not have two kids in them. That gets old fast. She only wears them when she's asleep now but still has accidents and still prefers them. I have no earthly idea why, I'd rather not wear something huge and crinkly that got damp on a regular basis, but that could just be the adult in me.
3. A bailout package for American citizens. Automakers and Wall Street big wigs aren't the only ones who need saving right now. Every sector of this economy needs revamping and sadly, we american debtors have gotten ourselves int such a predicament that frankly, we all need a few thousand bucks to get ourselves standing again. Then we all need to cut up half of our credit cards and invest in savings accounts.
4. Someone to cancel America's Next Top Model. Yeah, I know I watch the show and I know I "love" Tyra. But Tyra is insane, how can you not watch a train wreck? However, I just feel bad for the girls that go on this show, so FEW of them ever really make it big, it's got to be heart breaking to go on a show to pursue something that is your dream and find out after the fact that you've been scoffed at the entire time for being on said show and therefore, your job chances hurt. Karl Lagerfeld (from Chanel, Jim-bo) said in a ninterview recently that the girls on that show are the laughing stock of the entire fashion community and really, in a career path that is so fickle and mellifluous to begin with, do you need to start out with no one taking you seriously?
5. Someone to enact laws banning Hummers. Just seeing them makes me furious, only snotty rich brats drive those stupid things. How much money does one spend on gas for one of those things. Every time I see one I want to spit on their vile yellow paint (every Hummer seems to be yellow- a fact that makes me even more hateful). Weren't Hummers originally supposed to be vehicles used by the military? SO WHY DOES THAT MEAN THAT REGULAR CONSUMERS SHOULD BE BUYING THE STUPID THINGS? nONONO!
6. On the note of the Hummer, let's just find a way to erase the American attitude of Bigger is Better, More is More, I Need it All. This is how we got ourselves into the mess we are in today.
7. I'd like Obama to hurry up and get inaugurated too. I'm sick of Bush and I'm sick of all the press leading up to his inauguration. Let's just git 'er done.
8. Winter to go away. I just hate snow. I just hate bad weather, I dont even want to leave the house, therefore I'm a ticking time bomb of bitchiness because I've got cabin fever. I really need to move. I'm so sick of living in the arm pit of South Dakota. I just want to be somewhere where it makes me happy to wake up everyday and be alive.
9. Ok, I gotta put a short list of material things I want but cannot afford. A Wii, a new Ipod, new hybrid vehicles, a new wedding band or mine fixed, a Cuisinart food processor, a Kitchenaid Stand Mixer, new furniture- including that for my spawn, my bills paid for a few years, and a treadmill.
10. A peace pipe, headress, and drum for Injun Jim-bo. Moccasins for me.
11. A free lifetime supply of Starbucks and sushi. Always fresh and delicious and delivered to me in bed.
Gee, I think that that's all for now.
Peaceout-
Chatterbox
Ok, I'll stop teasing, Santa may not like it very much. I need to thin about the things that I really want for my list, I suppose, not just presents, because I can't be selfish when Jim-bo was so generous with his own wish list and asked for such noble things, therefore I probably shouldn't post a link to my wish lists at Amazon or Tiffany's or anything like that. I suppose that would mock our disgraceful American economy.
This is gonna be hard. I do so love to daydream about baubles and thingies I want as presents. I must try not to be soooooo self absorbed.
Wish List 2008 Style-o
1. She'll probably kill me for saying this but I'd really like fr my friend Sarah's string of bad luck to end. She's had a dramatic couple of years, it's time for God to give her a break and just give her a man who wants to put a ring on her finger, a job, a body that functions, and a little bit of self esteem. She's pretty down right now, and while I think she's amazing-o, I understand how a long string of bad things happening can really wear a girl down. Been there, done that, and whle my own luck isn't that great, per sae, she could use a few pick me ups.
2. Eva to finally be fully potty trained and out of diapers for good. I gotta put another baby into diapers in a mere matter of half of a year, I'd like to not have two kids in them. That gets old fast. She only wears them when she's asleep now but still has accidents and still prefers them. I have no earthly idea why, I'd rather not wear something huge and crinkly that got damp on a regular basis, but that could just be the adult in me.
3. A bailout package for American citizens. Automakers and Wall Street big wigs aren't the only ones who need saving right now. Every sector of this economy needs revamping and sadly, we american debtors have gotten ourselves int such a predicament that frankly, we all need a few thousand bucks to get ourselves standing again. Then we all need to cut up half of our credit cards and invest in savings accounts.
4. Someone to cancel America's Next Top Model. Yeah, I know I watch the show and I know I "love" Tyra. But Tyra is insane, how can you not watch a train wreck? However, I just feel bad for the girls that go on this show, so FEW of them ever really make it big, it's got to be heart breaking to go on a show to pursue something that is your dream and find out after the fact that you've been scoffed at the entire time for being on said show and therefore, your job chances hurt. Karl Lagerfeld (from Chanel, Jim-bo) said in a ninterview recently that the girls on that show are the laughing stock of the entire fashion community and really, in a career path that is so fickle and mellifluous to begin with, do you need to start out with no one taking you seriously?
5. Someone to enact laws banning Hummers. Just seeing them makes me furious, only snotty rich brats drive those stupid things. How much money does one spend on gas for one of those things. Every time I see one I want to spit on their vile yellow paint (every Hummer seems to be yellow- a fact that makes me even more hateful). Weren't Hummers originally supposed to be vehicles used by the military? SO WHY DOES THAT MEAN THAT REGULAR CONSUMERS SHOULD BE BUYING THE STUPID THINGS? nONONO!
6. On the note of the Hummer, let's just find a way to erase the American attitude of Bigger is Better, More is More, I Need it All. This is how we got ourselves into the mess we are in today.
7. I'd like Obama to hurry up and get inaugurated too. I'm sick of Bush and I'm sick of all the press leading up to his inauguration. Let's just git 'er done.
8. Winter to go away. I just hate snow. I just hate bad weather, I dont even want to leave the house, therefore I'm a ticking time bomb of bitchiness because I've got cabin fever. I really need to move. I'm so sick of living in the arm pit of South Dakota. I just want to be somewhere where it makes me happy to wake up everyday and be alive.
9. Ok, I gotta put a short list of material things I want but cannot afford. A Wii, a new Ipod, new hybrid vehicles, a new wedding band or mine fixed, a Cuisinart food processor, a Kitchenaid Stand Mixer, new furniture- including that for my spawn, my bills paid for a few years, and a treadmill.
10. A peace pipe, headress, and drum for Injun Jim-bo. Moccasins for me.
11. A free lifetime supply of Starbucks and sushi. Always fresh and delicious and delivered to me in bed.
Gee, I think that that's all for now.
Peaceout-
Chatterbox
Saturday, December 20, 2008
State of the Union
Watching Tracy Ullman's State of the Union right now after we've fried our brains on holiday music and holiday movies (today was White Christmas, Holiday Inn, The Grinch, It's a Wonderful Life). We also made 4 different kinds of holiday cookies today. Nolan's pretty close to suicide from all the holiday joy we've been indulging in. This is pretty hilarious- I don't know how I didn't know that it existed until I got Netflix.
Side note ***GET NETFLIX JIMBO*** MERRY EFFING CHRISTMAS DUUUUUDE.
So, it's blizzarding here again. My car got stuck in the snow and high centered, not once, but three times in less than 24 hours. I would rather move to some country in the Bahamas and risk giving my baby some sort of tropical plague like fever illness than continue to live through this nonsense. How do people live in Alaska? Honestly, how? Because I really hate the fact that 90% of the time I DONT WANT TO GO OUTSIDE so therefore 80% of the time I DONT. Maybe some of these feelings of never wanting to leave my house have to do with being pregnant but I'm going to unceremoniously blame it on the weather.
I mean, I KNOW I can get all decked out in bunting, fly material, parachute pants, and boots that weigh 50 lbs that get covered in snow and then weigh 50 more pounds. But isn't that a lot of effort just to be able to get into my car? I spend enough of my life on my appearance as it is, do I really need to take another hour putting on a space suit? Ugh.
So Chrysler and GM and Ford all closed down for at least a month each. This is sad. As a poor American, I feel for those people who are basically wageless for at least a month (dont give me that they are getting moola from unemployment and their companies- you have to jump through rings of fire breathing komodo dragons and rattlesnakes to get any sort of aid right now in America). How did this happen? That's what I really want to know because honestly, I've done a ton of reading on the subject and I still don't understand- how is it that the auto industry just suddenly realized that they need hundreds of billions of dollars to rectify their financial woes? This is NOT something just sort of pops up on you out of nowhere. My thinking on this subject also applies to our financial institutions- how many years have you stupid screwballs been secretly operating in the red whilst charging people outlandish fees and fines and interest rates? I just don't get it and I really want to.
The whole topic just makes me want to go to sleep and wake up with dengue fever.
Ok, maybe not.
Back to State of the Union and my latest piece of brain garbage "The Other Boleyn Girl".
Because I'm deep like that.
Peace out yo-
Chatterbox Sara
Side note ***GET NETFLIX JIMBO*** MERRY EFFING CHRISTMAS DUUUUUDE.
So, it's blizzarding here again. My car got stuck in the snow and high centered, not once, but three times in less than 24 hours. I would rather move to some country in the Bahamas and risk giving my baby some sort of tropical plague like fever illness than continue to live through this nonsense. How do people live in Alaska? Honestly, how? Because I really hate the fact that 90% of the time I DONT WANT TO GO OUTSIDE so therefore 80% of the time I DONT. Maybe some of these feelings of never wanting to leave my house have to do with being pregnant but I'm going to unceremoniously blame it on the weather.
I mean, I KNOW I can get all decked out in bunting, fly material, parachute pants, and boots that weigh 50 lbs that get covered in snow and then weigh 50 more pounds. But isn't that a lot of effort just to be able to get into my car? I spend enough of my life on my appearance as it is, do I really need to take another hour putting on a space suit? Ugh.
So Chrysler and GM and Ford all closed down for at least a month each. This is sad. As a poor American, I feel for those people who are basically wageless for at least a month (dont give me that they are getting moola from unemployment and their companies- you have to jump through rings of fire breathing komodo dragons and rattlesnakes to get any sort of aid right now in America). How did this happen? That's what I really want to know because honestly, I've done a ton of reading on the subject and I still don't understand- how is it that the auto industry just suddenly realized that they need hundreds of billions of dollars to rectify their financial woes? This is NOT something just sort of pops up on you out of nowhere. My thinking on this subject also applies to our financial institutions- how many years have you stupid screwballs been secretly operating in the red whilst charging people outlandish fees and fines and interest rates? I just don't get it and I really want to.
The whole topic just makes me want to go to sleep and wake up with dengue fever.
Ok, maybe not.
Back to State of the Union and my latest piece of brain garbage "The Other Boleyn Girl".
Because I'm deep like that.
Peace out yo-
Chatterbox Sara
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
I aint dead yet!
Although with this hellishly cold weather I probably should be. That was an odd combination of words, hellishly cold, but thats what it is! Its so cold that when it hits your skin it stings and when you go inside you feel as though your on fire. I LOVE SOUTH DAKOTA. Today was one of those days. Nothing good happened. Nothing really bad happened. It was a nothing type of day. BUT, I hate those types of days, when you get NOTHING accomplished and all your ideas fall flat on their face. What did I do today? well I got in to the office like a normal morning, all ready to go out in that world and accomplish something. Did I? Naw.
I traveled (it seems most of my life is spent in transitions, in this case from one office to the other) the customary hour trip out to the Rez to check in on things at the main office. The drive itself, I suppose, does me some good. It allows me to clear my head and think about things, this is also the time when my iPod gets its workout. The time thats the hardest is the time between the commute. The whole actually being out at the main office part is whats somewhat tiring for me. Ya see, our program is on the cusp of some major changes. We are forced to abandon old ways only to accept new, foreign ways. We have a major opportunity to get some much needed cash for some much needed improvement.
See, what I'm faced with is an Administration who wants to see me change things, make improvements, and in general, direct the program. Then, on the flip side of that coin, I have a staff who is resistant to change and any new ideas. What am I to do. I am willing to be motivated and make these changes but I dont want to be the only one nor should I be dragging my staff along like a ball and chain. Everytime I meet the assistant director, I hear the same old complaints, no positive. Its all that has gone wrong or will go wrong. I have some genuinely good ideas but their continuously being shot down because I'm the new guy, and the assistant director is the motherly figure who has been with the program for almost 30 years. "awww mom do we have to" mentality, and her reply: "no, dont worry, the big bad man is wrong."
Do I play good cop? or should I go with the bad cop approach? I've tried the good cop approach so far and its gotten hardly anywhere, granted I was able to get some stuff done initially. But as for now, we're stuck in a rut. I understand the big picture of the direction we should be goin but no one else can because their stuck in their own ruts. Financial problems, family member's health, who gets the kids for Christmas. These are all things I've been hearing about. Not that I dont want to hear your problems because I can sympathize. But lets at least try to be productive and get some work dont here.
**** My Christmas List ****
1. Obama needs to hurry up and be president already
Why? because I'm tired of hearing about the scandals and who he's
picking for what post and how good of a basketball player he is,
seriously. We dont need to go from having a dumbass as president to a guy who sounds like some washed up NBA wanna-be "Doi i'm gonna put a basketball court in da White House!"
2. Instead of calling us "the Dakotas," Call us by our proper name, North or South Dakota
Why? Because I'm getting tired of CBS morning news saying "and its a little cold in the Dakotas today" ITS FREEZING HERE, dangerously low temperatures. Don't make it sound like we need a light windbreaker when we really need a whole load of extra clothing just to walk to our cars which won't start because of the same cold weather
3. A computer that doesnt crash in the middle of something important
Why? Okay this is more for work I guess. We have like 15 computers at our disposal
and their all so old that only 4 work. Thats the rez I guess
4. A copy of the Garfield Christmas Special
Why? I'm reminiscing from my childhood. I saw it on tv the other night and I remember it from long ago. I was a kid,okay? Got a problem? Deal with it
5. No more Larry the Cable Guy
Why? I've had about all I can stand of that guy. I know its a persona but seriously, how can a whole nation, wait region of the US, be completely captivated by this guy. Theres only so many "Get 'er done"s I can stand before I go crazy.
Thats the list for now, I'll add to it another time!
Later Ya'll and Git 'er Done
I traveled (it seems most of my life is spent in transitions, in this case from one office to the other) the customary hour trip out to the Rez to check in on things at the main office. The drive itself, I suppose, does me some good. It allows me to clear my head and think about things, this is also the time when my iPod gets its workout. The time thats the hardest is the time between the commute. The whole actually being out at the main office part is whats somewhat tiring for me. Ya see, our program is on the cusp of some major changes. We are forced to abandon old ways only to accept new, foreign ways. We have a major opportunity to get some much needed cash for some much needed improvement.
See, what I'm faced with is an Administration who wants to see me change things, make improvements, and in general, direct the program. Then, on the flip side of that coin, I have a staff who is resistant to change and any new ideas. What am I to do. I am willing to be motivated and make these changes but I dont want to be the only one nor should I be dragging my staff along like a ball and chain. Everytime I meet the assistant director, I hear the same old complaints, no positive. Its all that has gone wrong or will go wrong. I have some genuinely good ideas but their continuously being shot down because I'm the new guy, and the assistant director is the motherly figure who has been with the program for almost 30 years. "awww mom do we have to" mentality, and her reply: "no, dont worry, the big bad man is wrong."
Do I play good cop? or should I go with the bad cop approach? I've tried the good cop approach so far and its gotten hardly anywhere, granted I was able to get some stuff done initially. But as for now, we're stuck in a rut. I understand the big picture of the direction we should be goin but no one else can because their stuck in their own ruts. Financial problems, family member's health, who gets the kids for Christmas. These are all things I've been hearing about. Not that I dont want to hear your problems because I can sympathize. But lets at least try to be productive and get some work dont here.
**** My Christmas List ****
1. Obama needs to hurry up and be president already
Why? because I'm tired of hearing about the scandals and who he's
picking for what post and how good of a basketball player he is,
seriously. We dont need to go from having a dumbass as president to a guy who sounds like some washed up NBA wanna-be "Doi i'm gonna put a basketball court in da White House!"
2. Instead of calling us "the Dakotas," Call us by our proper name, North or South Dakota
Why? Because I'm getting tired of CBS morning news saying "and its a little cold in the Dakotas today" ITS FREEZING HERE, dangerously low temperatures. Don't make it sound like we need a light windbreaker when we really need a whole load of extra clothing just to walk to our cars which won't start because of the same cold weather
3. A computer that doesnt crash in the middle of something important
Why? Okay this is more for work I guess. We have like 15 computers at our disposal
and their all so old that only 4 work. Thats the rez I guess
4. A copy of the Garfield Christmas Special
Why? I'm reminiscing from my childhood. I saw it on tv the other night and I remember it from long ago. I was a kid,okay? Got a problem? Deal with it
5. No more Larry the Cable Guy
Why? I've had about all I can stand of that guy. I know its a persona but seriously, how can a whole nation, wait region of the US, be completely captivated by this guy. Theres only so many "Get 'er done"s I can stand before I go crazy.
Thats the list for now, I'll add to it another time!
Later Ya'll and Git 'er Done
Monday, December 15, 2008
3 AM and I must be dreaming
Or at least I should have been dreaming. This really blows, all this disgusting insomnia. I need sleep, now more than ever. I'm rather pregnant and I'm rather unwell 90% of the day so I need al, the danged sleep I can get but do I get it, NO NON NADA NEIN. I was going to write this bllog this am in the interim during which I was awake, 2 am to 5 am but I was just so mind blowingly exhausted that I could not.
It's negative 45 degrees here today with the wind chill factor. -45 is disgusting. Living in this town is disgusting. It drains my soul. I want out right now. If we had any money to our names whatsoever that we could use as start up, you had better believe that we'd be out of here.
Ew. I just got a bloody nose. God bless pregnancy and highly heated houses to combat -45 degree weather. I think . . . . . . I just forgot what I was going to say.
NANANANANANANA TOOPID. I can't remember everything else I was going to blog about. UGH SO ANNOYING.
It's negative 45 degrees here today with the wind chill factor. -45 is disgusting. Living in this town is disgusting. It drains my soul. I want out right now. If we had any money to our names whatsoever that we could use as start up, you had better believe that we'd be out of here.
Ew. I just got a bloody nose. God bless pregnancy and highly heated houses to combat -45 degree weather. I think . . . . . . I just forgot what I was going to say.
NANANANANANANA TOOPID. I can't remember everything else I was going to blog about. UGH SO ANNOYING.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Twitter! Get it!
I've got Twitter now! You go get it too! Then add me so we can follow each other!
http://twitter.com/Chatterbox_Sara
Twitter! One more way to make my life totally all-encompassed by the internet!
http://twitter.com/Chatterbox_Sara
Twitter! One more way to make my life totally all-encompassed by the internet!
Friday, December 12, 2008
God is working at Caribou
So I had my math final today. This is the class that I just have an a*****e for a professor in. I was feeling kinda confident that I would do well on this test because I had done well on a few previous tests. I was also feeling nervous because the last two tests I had done rather poorly despite my best efforts and also had had a huge spat with my professor. A lot was kind of riding on this final. Anyways, long story short, didn't do so hot on the final and may just have to retake the class depending on how he curves his grades, which I seriously doubt he does because he hasn't done so for anything else.
I was seriously bummed about my poor test grade and seriously hungry because of being prego and beyond exhausted because I went to bed very sick last night and then had raging insomnia from 1:30-4:30. So I made a few stops in Little Mexico/Little Asia, a donut store that was closed, Taco Bell, a pre-pay gas station with ten really creepy little Hispanic guys who looked like they were going to rob the place (WHAT- they kept patting their pockets furtively, glancing around and conversing in low rapid fire Spanish), and finally because I really needed a little pick me up, Caribou coffee.
There's really nothing I like better than the holiday beverages at Caribou and Starbucks. I look forward to those just as much as everything else during the holiday season that I love, and I haven't had ANY Starbucks or Caribou for nearly two months. I was in serious withdrawals. Yes, I know I'm supposed to cut back on caffeine during pregnancy and believe me I have, but after my test, and my sleep deprivation, and just how glum I've been feeling lately, baby in my belly and I needed a little pick me up.
Anyways after having a rousing conversation with Sarah about how her dumb boyfriend was having karmic repercussions on his socks, I finally pulled into Caribou. Caribou is clear across town but in a different direction than anything else in Sioux City because NOTHING is centrally located. Sioux City is a scattered, illogical mess of a town, it's difficult to get around and takes forever to get from point a to point b. So I roll into Caribou, styling in my dented, dirty white Monte, and my comfies and my frizzy hair and under eye circles, order my latte and pull up to the window.
Low and behold, I was not prepared for the vision seared into my eyeballs awaiting me. The drive-through window worker was our Lord, God. At least, he was the very replica of a lot of bad art that depicts God's image. He was Gandalf from Miami. He had long, flowing white hair. He had a long, flowing white beard. Both were long, and shiny, and looked as smooth as corn silk. He was wearing a white, flowy shirt. He had pale, blue Germanic eyes because every painting of God favors pale, blue germanic eyes for some reason or another and tan skin. Tan as in tanned, not naturally tan. I wonder how he could be tan when the weather is this putrid, but it definitely wasn't flourescent, orange , tanning bed tan.
He also wore a dream catcher earrin. This is perhaps my favorite aspect of having seen this guys.
He spoke in that soft, soothing, counselor voice that they attempt to teach you the technique of in grad programs aimed towards training counselors. He smiled softly. He was both and awe and fear inspiring but wierdly comforting. It was one of the strangest images I have ever seen, that someone could, in reality, look this way.
But then again, I am pregnant and delusional. Maybe I imagined it. Maybe it was just a vision from God and not the real deal. But if it were a vision granted by God, wouldn't he have something more prophetic to say than double checking my order and counting back my change?
Just food for thought.
I was seriously bummed about my poor test grade and seriously hungry because of being prego and beyond exhausted because I went to bed very sick last night and then had raging insomnia from 1:30-4:30. So I made a few stops in Little Mexico/Little Asia, a donut store that was closed, Taco Bell, a pre-pay gas station with ten really creepy little Hispanic guys who looked like they were going to rob the place (WHAT- they kept patting their pockets furtively, glancing around and conversing in low rapid fire Spanish), and finally because I really needed a little pick me up, Caribou coffee.
There's really nothing I like better than the holiday beverages at Caribou and Starbucks. I look forward to those just as much as everything else during the holiday season that I love, and I haven't had ANY Starbucks or Caribou for nearly two months. I was in serious withdrawals. Yes, I know I'm supposed to cut back on caffeine during pregnancy and believe me I have, but after my test, and my sleep deprivation, and just how glum I've been feeling lately, baby in my belly and I needed a little pick me up.
Anyways after having a rousing conversation with Sarah about how her dumb boyfriend was having karmic repercussions on his socks, I finally pulled into Caribou. Caribou is clear across town but in a different direction than anything else in Sioux City because NOTHING is centrally located. Sioux City is a scattered, illogical mess of a town, it's difficult to get around and takes forever to get from point a to point b. So I roll into Caribou, styling in my dented, dirty white Monte, and my comfies and my frizzy hair and under eye circles, order my latte and pull up to the window.
Low and behold, I was not prepared for the vision seared into my eyeballs awaiting me. The drive-through window worker was our Lord, God. At least, he was the very replica of a lot of bad art that depicts God's image. He was Gandalf from Miami. He had long, flowing white hair. He had a long, flowing white beard. Both were long, and shiny, and looked as smooth as corn silk. He was wearing a white, flowy shirt. He had pale, blue Germanic eyes because every painting of God favors pale, blue germanic eyes for some reason or another and tan skin. Tan as in tanned, not naturally tan. I wonder how he could be tan when the weather is this putrid, but it definitely wasn't flourescent, orange , tanning bed tan.
He also wore a dream catcher earrin. This is perhaps my favorite aspect of having seen this guys.
He spoke in that soft, soothing, counselor voice that they attempt to teach you the technique of in grad programs aimed towards training counselors. He smiled softly. He was both and awe and fear inspiring but wierdly comforting. It was one of the strangest images I have ever seen, that someone could, in reality, look this way.
But then again, I am pregnant and delusional. Maybe I imagined it. Maybe it was just a vision from God and not the real deal. But if it were a vision granted by God, wouldn't he have something more prophetic to say than double checking my order and counting back my change?
Just food for thought.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Holiday Baking
So it's usually about this time of year I get really worked up over the holidays. I know that everyone will attest to my obsession with Halloween but I really kind of kick into overdrive over Christmas and Hanukkah. Our family celebrates both, not out of some sort of capitalist drive to receive more presents but rather because I like to celebrate with as many people as possible and enjoy the traditions of both. So my house is this insane blitzkrieg of Christmas trees (which btw are a pagan thing, not a Christmas thing) and Hanukkah's menorahs and dreidels and all sorts of other holiday glitter and gloss.
I really enjoy holiday baking. I plan it out, picking recipes for celebratory meals and most importantly for baking goodies to give people. This all started in effort to overcome my paralysis of fear when it comes to baking. I can cook like no one's business but baking is really something I have had to apply myself to learning. Baking isn't quite as free form as I like my cooking to be, I like to look at a recipe as a general outline from which to take it to where I want to go that day. Can't really do that when your recipe includes things like yeast or baking soda or whatever.
I try to kind of have a theme each year. Last year I had them of reds and whites with my baking. Year before it was all chocolate and so on. This year, I'd like to make different traditional European holiday cookies. BUT, last year I also made like twelve DIFFERENT kinds of cookies. I want to keep it to between 4 and 6 different baked goods this year. Keep in mind, I have Christmas meals and Hanukkah meals to prepare also, so there's just a lot of cooking thats going to go on this year.
Here are the contenders for Holiday Bake-Ganza this year. Hopefully you're not on my naughty list, but rather, my nice list because that means for your gift this year from me you could very well get a plaate full of goodies courtesy of me!
-The Choices-
-Pfeffernuse or Pepparnodder (German/Danish spice Cookies)
-Rugelach or Kolaches (Polish/Eastern European jam filled cookies)
-Cherry/Date Chewy Twists (French/Germanic cookies)
-Buttered Rum Shortbreads (Twist on Scottish shortbread)
-White Chocolate Macarons (French)
-Chocolate Gelt Cookies (Jewish/Eastern European)
-Gingerbread cupcakes (they just sounded good)
-Espresso caramel brownies (ditto on sounding good)
Guess we'll see what I end up making. Now, who wants to come hang lights at my house? I'll post other menus as I finalize them. Back to watching Celeb Rehab and studying for finals. MUAH!
Peace out yo-
Chatterbox Sara
I really enjoy holiday baking. I plan it out, picking recipes for celebratory meals and most importantly for baking goodies to give people. This all started in effort to overcome my paralysis of fear when it comes to baking. I can cook like no one's business but baking is really something I have had to apply myself to learning. Baking isn't quite as free form as I like my cooking to be, I like to look at a recipe as a general outline from which to take it to where I want to go that day. Can't really do that when your recipe includes things like yeast or baking soda or whatever.
I try to kind of have a theme each year. Last year I had them of reds and whites with my baking. Year before it was all chocolate and so on. This year, I'd like to make different traditional European holiday cookies. BUT, last year I also made like twelve DIFFERENT kinds of cookies. I want to keep it to between 4 and 6 different baked goods this year. Keep in mind, I have Christmas meals and Hanukkah meals to prepare also, so there's just a lot of cooking thats going to go on this year.
Here are the contenders for Holiday Bake-Ganza this year. Hopefully you're not on my naughty list, but rather, my nice list because that means for your gift this year from me you could very well get a plaate full of goodies courtesy of me!
-The Choices-
-Pfeffernuse or Pepparnodder (German/Danish spice Cookies)
-Rugelach or Kolaches (Polish/Eastern European jam filled cookies)
-Cherry/Date Chewy Twists (French/Germanic cookies)
-Buttered Rum Shortbreads (Twist on Scottish shortbread)
-White Chocolate Macarons (French)
-Chocolate Gelt Cookies (Jewish/Eastern European)
-Gingerbread cupcakes (they just sounded good)
-Espresso caramel brownies (ditto on sounding good)
Guess we'll see what I end up making. Now, who wants to come hang lights at my house? I'll post other menus as I finalize them. Back to watching Celeb Rehab and studying for finals. MUAH!
Peace out yo-
Chatterbox Sara
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Hoe Cakes
So I'm reading the Paula Deen memoir "It Ain't All About the Cooking" and I'm on the chapter where she and Captain Micheal start dating. And of course, Paula Deen has talked some about sex in this book but in a very tactful Southern lady manner. Well, anyways she's talking about getting intimate with the Captain and lo and behold she says, "Sure, we played HIDE THE SAUSAGE but that ain't what it's all about!"
HIDE THE SAUSAGE.
I nearly died peeing myself with laughter. What a way to put "old folk having sex" or "Doing the nasty" or whatever. God, I really love Paula Deen. I want her to be my grandma. I want her to come bustling into my house and say, "Alright y-all let's get cookin! WE gone make some hoe cakes and collard greens and fried chicken and some mud cake! Then we gonna party and play a little canasta when it's all done! Woo!"
I want her to nanny my children, be my personal chef, my best friend, and my surrogate mother. Oh and I want to inherit her big old house in Savannah Georgia.
Did I mention our dishwasher has gone wonky? I fucking hate doing dishes by hand so this better get fixed and pronto. I'm already skull deep in loads and loads of laundry, I mean seriously, I've been doing laundry for a week straight. I'm so sick of it. I'm also sick of my dogs right now. I'm only not sick of them when they are cuddled up on the bed asleep with me.
Nananananana stoooopid.
HIDE THE SAUSAGE.
I nearly died peeing myself with laughter. What a way to put "old folk having sex" or "Doing the nasty" or whatever. God, I really love Paula Deen. I want her to be my grandma. I want her to come bustling into my house and say, "Alright y-all let's get cookin! WE gone make some hoe cakes and collard greens and fried chicken and some mud cake! Then we gonna party and play a little canasta when it's all done! Woo!"
I want her to nanny my children, be my personal chef, my best friend, and my surrogate mother. Oh and I want to inherit her big old house in Savannah Georgia.
Did I mention our dishwasher has gone wonky? I fucking hate doing dishes by hand so this better get fixed and pronto. I'm already skull deep in loads and loads of laundry, I mean seriously, I've been doing laundry for a week straight. I'm so sick of it. I'm also sick of my dogs right now. I'm only not sick of them when they are cuddled up on the bed asleep with me.
Nananananana stoooopid.
Monday, December 1, 2008
NA NA NA NA NANANA STOOPID
ITS MONDAY!
I know I shouldn't be excited that its Monday but overall I'm in a good mood. I dont know why, I'm tired, my back hurts again. Maybe its the spirit of Christmas that has just totally hit me but whatever it is, I'm in a good mood. This is monumental because it is a rarity for me these days. I went back down to Vermillion this weekend to pick up more of my crap. My apartment is now but an empty shell with a couch and bed and miscellaneous items strewn about. I'm sitting here at work, totalling my mileage for reimbursement and in the month of November I have clocked at the very least 700 miles. There are some trips that I can't remember that I'm not claiming and there are even more trips that I took using the agency car so I'd say i've driven at least 1500 miles in the past month. My life spent on the road, just me and my thoughts plus an iPod filled with eclectic tunes to jam out to.
CHRISTMAS MUSIC
So when I was in Vermillion, I found a radio station from Sioux Falls that was playing nothing but Christmas music. When I say nothing but Christmas music I mean NOTHING BUT CHRISTMAS MUSIC! In a way it was cool but I bitched a little while ago about Christmas music before Thanksgiving. It is now after Thanksgiving so it is therefore okay, I guess in my own demented thinking. When I was in V-town, I was snowing. On my trip back to my hometown it was snowing, so badly in fact that I had to travel like 40-45 miles per hour. I didnt realize it was going to be that fast. There I was, in a small SUV filled with kitchen supplies and odds and ends of things going through river hill country on roads with snow and then ice under that. REMEMBER YOUR BOOTS AND GLOVES.
I'M BORED
I've got work I could be doing. I have to accomplish several things this week. Its Monday after a 4 day weekend, I'm in no mood to do work. The tutor in our office, has been on her cell phone for damned near 2 hours now. This is what we are being paid to do. I am blogging, and internet shopping and she is chattin it up on the phone. If only everyone could see how productive we are. I shouldnt complain about being bored because last week I was extremely busy. I had several "mini-crises" to intervene in and other situations to deal with but overall I liked the feeling that I was getting something accomplished. This bored feeling will be over soon. The main work gets done in the afternoons anyways. The mornings are always spent visiting and finishing up stuff from the day before. I seem to be catching on to everything pretty well. I'll most likely post again later.
Bye for now NANANANAN STOOPID.
I know I shouldn't be excited that its Monday but overall I'm in a good mood. I dont know why, I'm tired, my back hurts again. Maybe its the spirit of Christmas that has just totally hit me but whatever it is, I'm in a good mood. This is monumental because it is a rarity for me these days. I went back down to Vermillion this weekend to pick up more of my crap. My apartment is now but an empty shell with a couch and bed and miscellaneous items strewn about. I'm sitting here at work, totalling my mileage for reimbursement and in the month of November I have clocked at the very least 700 miles. There are some trips that I can't remember that I'm not claiming and there are even more trips that I took using the agency car so I'd say i've driven at least 1500 miles in the past month. My life spent on the road, just me and my thoughts plus an iPod filled with eclectic tunes to jam out to.
CHRISTMAS MUSIC
So when I was in Vermillion, I found a radio station from Sioux Falls that was playing nothing but Christmas music. When I say nothing but Christmas music I mean NOTHING BUT CHRISTMAS MUSIC! In a way it was cool but I bitched a little while ago about Christmas music before Thanksgiving. It is now after Thanksgiving so it is therefore okay, I guess in my own demented thinking. When I was in V-town, I was snowing. On my trip back to my hometown it was snowing, so badly in fact that I had to travel like 40-45 miles per hour. I didnt realize it was going to be that fast. There I was, in a small SUV filled with kitchen supplies and odds and ends of things going through river hill country on roads with snow and then ice under that. REMEMBER YOUR BOOTS AND GLOVES.
I'M BORED
I've got work I could be doing. I have to accomplish several things this week. Its Monday after a 4 day weekend, I'm in no mood to do work. The tutor in our office, has been on her cell phone for damned near 2 hours now. This is what we are being paid to do. I am blogging, and internet shopping and she is chattin it up on the phone. If only everyone could see how productive we are. I shouldnt complain about being bored because last week I was extremely busy. I had several "mini-crises" to intervene in and other situations to deal with but overall I liked the feeling that I was getting something accomplished. This bored feeling will be over soon. The main work gets done in the afternoons anyways. The mornings are always spent visiting and finishing up stuff from the day before. I seem to be catching on to everything pretty well. I'll most likely post again later.
Bye for now NANANANAN STOOPID.
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