Injum's Wednesday

Painting Project continues... Day 3

So at this point everything that needed to be painted in our office building has been painted. The only problem, the painters pooped out today. I must say I saw this coming. So now we're left with painted walls, most could use a second coat, and the painters are so tired out from going full steam ahead on the project that they've decided to stop until next week or so... blah I guess this nightmare will continue.

In good news: Injum Jim may have found himself a new tipi for rent. Okay so heres how the story goes. My brother has 2 friends, Friend A is moving to a family farm house in the country and so Friend B is moving in to Friend A's house, leaving Friend B's house available. From the outside it looks pretty nice. It's a two story house on a corner lot with a 2 car garage. I can see it has patio doors and it looks nice. The guy who owns the place is a local bank big-wig so I assume it should be have been kept up inside. If I can swing getting the place, I could possibly move in mide June to early July.

In MORE good news (that's right it gets better for me): My apartment lease in Vermillion is finally FINISHED. My lease went until May 31. I moved out at the end of November. So it's been up for sublease since December and sat vacant (and sucking $650) out of me until April. April 3 a gal sublet it from me and the real estate agency said for the remainder of my lease so I figured okay that takes me off the hook for April and May - better than nothing I thought. SO May 15 rolls around, no news is good news on the apartment - I get a call from the real estate people. I guess the gal who sublet my apartment skipped out at the end of April, turned in the keys and left town. Now they wanted me to pay half to the whole months rent for May. BULLSHIT! I pulled the I need to talk to my lawyer card and they quickly said "well we will try to get it out of her then, we'll be sending your deposit back to you shortly" So I haven't heard anything yet but I also haven't gotten my deposit back either so we will see how that goes.

Back to the war-path...

Blah Mondays & Tuesdays

Okay, Jim here... (sorta)

So Sunday we got a pretty good storm that came through town. Our office is perpetually experiencing water leaking issues. Needless to say, half of our office carpet was soaked with water, water was standing in the low areas on the carpet. I was pissed. So Monday morning I managed to get my hands on this huge commerical grade Shop-Vac and managed to suck up most of the water in the carpets. We were going to paint so all our furnature had been moved in the middle of the room. So after that disaster, we started painting which had its own little mini disasters.

We got our main office room done yesterday, it looks decent. Now today they're painting the hallways (again alot of mini-disasters such as oh, say spilling paint on the carpet... yea). So things are starting to get somewhat back to normal right now. You know how they say when dogs get upset when their routine or environment has changed? thats me right now I'd say. I'm irratable and on have been slightly snippy. I'm wanting to travel to the other offices and drop in on the rest of the staff just to get away from here. You get two particular people in a room, each with their own idea of how the room should look and then try to force a compromise. I must admit though, I won ;-) So now our "painters" are getting tired of painting while they're the ones who are the reason why we're painting in the first place. They were so freaking out about painting that I finally thought " ah what the hell, if it keeps them busy and off my back then I'm set". Guess I was wrong. More to come...

Later, Injum

Friday Friday, Injum Friday

Injum Jim Here,

Okay, so I decided, after MUCH MUCH prodding from Linda (psycho-ish co-worker/peon) that we should paint our office & classroom. My ultimate vision, annex the neighboring office, put in some French doors in the wall and connect the two so I could have an actual separate space where I could shut the door if I need a break from crazy. So anyways for now I said yea we can paint. We have a petty cash fund and can get some more paint from the university maintenance if we need it. I just thought yeah a nice touch up on the paint, the walls are already white, it would just be a new coat of white. Our two rooms are fairly good in size but not huge. I was thinking, okay about a gallon to a gallon and a half per room? Sounds good to me, get a smooth roller that won't leave alot of paint and still look good. Here's Lindas reply, "WELL WE NEED AT LEAST 12 GALLONS OF PAINT"

Holy F#ck! What the hell are we painting? are we trying to make the Golden Gate bridge the White Gate bridge cuz thats what it sounds like. We bought 3 gallons of interior egg-shell latex paint, that will carry us - and hopefully a long way. I know how some people paint, they just glob it on the wall. I'm talking about a nice fresh light coat of white on already white primered walls. so yeah, I said we'll do it next week starting monday and today we can prep for the painting. So now here I sit, my desk in the middle of the room along with every other piece of office furniture and file cabinets and such. Everything is off the walls. We're ready to roll, I guess... I managed to keep my desk somewhat in my corner, and my other desk that completes my corner domination area is still in place. Fuck-tard meanwhile wanted to push them together in the middle of the room such that I wouldn't be able to sit anywhere. Lets not forget I'm the boss, if some GED Crisis comes up I need my command center - i dont want to be saying "hey you guys can we move the desks so I can get stuff out of my drawers!"

Perhaps I'm partially pissed because I just need a Goddam day off every once in a while... I could have stayed home today, I seriously contemplated it. Just call in, say you're feeling a little mucky and stay home, in bed where its nice and warm and comfortable. But yet I feel the need for punishing myself by subjecting myself to mind numbing clamoring voices that is my co-worker/minion... I took a break to go fill some holes with some spackle. So anywho... Yeah we got alot of work to do. K so the radio station is having a story about a 4H barn dance in town and the guy heading it up was like "yeah and we're going to have a slave auction to raise some money... Told you I was living in redneck central. Okay so I better get going... More later, updates on the painting that is...

Hayayaya, (sincerely yours in Injum)
Jim

I dont play with barbie dolls

I play with action figures, get it right. So its been a while, I almost forgot our unforgettable password for this blog. Everytime I type it I'm reminded of all those hours spent at work, by myself, at night... SESDAC. By the way, I HAVE been working. It just gets so boring at times, I need to be a better blogger. As far as the texting, I'll get a random text from Sara every now and then of how much she loves this or that. Meanwhile I'm stuck in I hate-sville. Apparently Sara's got a lot of love to go around, I'm a bitter man. (the song on the radio is Styx Come Sail Away - see what I mean about a sucky radio station, IN FACT it sucks so much instead of calling it Magic 93 like the radio station likes, everyone calls it tradgic 93)

As far as things I love, I keep it pretty simple. (RADIO UPDATE now it's blues traveler Forever owed.)I don't fall immediately in love with something, it has to work to earn my love. Lets say I have a cookie, and its a good cookie. I don't immediately fall in love with this cookie and profess my unending love for said cookie. The cookie has to prove to me that it deserves my love. OMG I LOVE THIS CHIPS AHOY DOUBLE CHUNK COOKIE, YUM-O, no thats not me. (UPDATE Rick Springfield - Don't Talk to Strangers)I keep my love for things on the DL, just between us sort of thing. If I like that same cookie, I'll let it know I appreciate it. Okay lets get off of cookies.(UPDATE Van Morrison, brown eyed girl)

So maybe I should do a list of I loves, to see what I actually love, its an exclusive list:

I Love:
1. good music
2. quiet time
3. when Linda (who works in my office) is on leave
4. when I go for a drive, with no destination in mind
5. Fall/Spring seasons
6. Lasagna
7. Tootsie rolls
8. Carmel Rolls
(UPDATE Incubus - Love Hurts)
9. Golfing - perhaps Love would be too strong, maybe enjoy is a better word
10. I would love to have a new car

great, Linda is back, and she's talking non-stop (as usual). She's on this diet and I have to hear everything about it. "Jim, I lost 2 more pounds, that brings it up to 8!" Whoopty fuckin do. She's going to be gone Thursday and Friday - those are going to be two good days. (UPDATE Godsmack - Shinedown)

11. The weekend
12. sleeping in
13. French Dip w/ au jus from the Diner on Main
14. My computer
15. iPod & iTunes
(UPDATE Eagles - Lyin' Eyes)

We can end the list there. So I came up with a master plan for my life. Okay, So i'll work at this current job for say 3-4 years. While I'm here, I can ge my Masters degree for free, I just have to pay for books. Okay so then I will try my hand at applying for some form of graduate school. Like Law school, and a joint degree program. I'm too young and talented to waste my talents at this job to make it a career. A place where people argue at me for enforcing the rules and following our policy. Perhaps I could go back to USD, or maybe UND or elsewhere. I am getting valuable experience at an administrative level job. Maybe good experience isn't the best way to put it but its experience none the less.
(UPDATE John Cougar Mellencamp - Ain't even done with the night)

Ok, I'm going to wrap it up for now. I'll think of something better to post later.
Later, Injum

We've been MIA, but we don't hate you!

Hey All. Chatterbox Sara here. First and foremost, we don't hate you readers of our blog. We may hate everyone else, but not you. You're too cute and fluffy and shiny and fun for us to hate! Muah muah! But Jimbo and I have just been stupid busy. I grow more whale like in my pregnancy by the day and it's the end of the semester for my little family. I've even begin to suck at blogging on my other blog. That's super duper hyper monster pooper sad.

But, but, but, well, I mean, I just only have soooo much energy by the end of the day. Plus a lot of the time I cannot think of things that are funny enough or smart enough to say here so I relegate them to my blog instead. I promise I'll be better, starting next week. I'm gonna blog about how fucking great it is to apparently be a socialist for supporting our President and for thinking most red-blooded right wingers are dickbongs.

I also need to talk to you about how great Anthony Bourdain is and how over being pregnant I am. I've got loads of fun I need to share with you. I also need to talk about Madonna and about how stupidly confusing it is that it apparently is uber-cool to post 8000 pictures of ones' self on Facebook drunker than shit.

As for where is Jimbo? Welllllllllllllllllll, I must say he and I suck as bff's because we maybe text each other once a week and talk even less lately. I dunno why. He's apparently "working" aka watching vh1 in his parents basement while playing Barbie Dolls and eating Jalapeño Cheetos. All I ever hear from him is how much he hates everything, so I dunno whats up in his land of a thousand red skins.

We suck and we know it. But, in the meantime, here's a fun Friday picture for you!



Peaceout bros-

Chatterbox Sara

WHAT IS THIS?????????????/

Uhhhhh, pretty sure I will never sing something like this in any synagogue. Why is there even a hymn like this? What on earth- who WROTE this weirdness? SOMEONE EXPLAIN!!!!

1. There is a fountain filled with blood
drawn from Emmanuel's veins;
and sinners plunged beneath that flood
lose all their guilty stains.
Lose all their guilty stains,
lose all their guilty stains;
and sinners plunged beneath that flood
lose all their guilty stains.

2. The dying thief rejoiced to see
that fountain in his day;
and there may I, though vile as he,
wash all my sins away.
Wash all my sins away,
wash all my sins away;
and there may I, though vile as he,
wash all my sins away.

3. Dear dying Lamb, thy precious blood
shall never lose its power
till all the ransomed church of God
be saved, to sin no more.
Be saved, to sin no more,
be saved, to sin no more;
till all the ransomed church of God
be saved, to sin no more.

4. E'er since, by faith, I saw the stream
thy flowing wounds supply,
redeeming love has been my theme,
and shall be till I die.
And shall be till I die,
and shall be till I die;
redeeming love has been my theme,
and shall be till I die.

5. Then in a nobler, sweeter song,
I'll sing thy power to save,
when this poor lisping, stammering tongue
lies silent in the grave.
Lies silent in the grave,
lies silent in the grave;
when this poor lisping, stammering tongue
lies silent in the grave.


I'm gonna go have nightmare now.

Peace out-

Chatterbox Sara

The Candy Man

It seems our nation has really reverted to this whole idealogy that appeals to most 3 year olds. It's called instant gratification. We just want everything now, now, now, don't we? That's why we've got plastic in our wallets and fat on our asses. The right wing really knows how to capitalize on this and turn our new President into a bad guy. There's been this whole slew of mud slinging at President Obama for "not delivering on his 516 campaign promises" and about our nations descent into rotten quagmire.

Please. Grow up. These are just the piggy squeals of sore losers. Get over it. If the reds were doing so great, would public opinion of President Bush have sunk as low as it did? Would Nancy Pelosi have needed so much botox to appear even slightly happy to be at her governmental position everyday? I think not. Listen, I'm not anti-republican and I'm not going to say republican values are bad. There are a great deal of reasons why I'm an Independent and that's because there are principles from both parties I really believe in. What I am against is the fact that Republican's seemed to have turned into the quintessential good-ole-boys network that enjoys bad mouthing change because change = them having to roll up their sleeves and do a bit of work too.

Let's remember that our President has been in office for right around 3 months, please. Let's remember that working for a nation's government, no matter whether you're the head honcho or the lowly coffee runner includes a great deal of bureaucratic mumbo jumbo. I imagine someone somewhere has to sign and stamp a piece of paper just to get a double cappucino. Things like governmental transparency, change we can believe in, and elbow grease take time. Things like WORK takes time.

How is ANYONE supposed to deliver on every single on of their campaign goals in less than three months? When you work for the government you're lucky if anything gets done in a timely and efficient manner. We've been operating on the principles of gummy stasis for awhile now and even the biggest ball buster high rolling change talker is going to encounter some setbacks to getting the ball rolling. A lt of this just boils down to how unsettled our country is right now. We screwed up our own economy, we're all in debt, we're in a war that we can't win, and let's face it, NO OTHER CUNTRYIN THE WORLD LIKES US THAT DAMNED MUCH. We know we're the unpopular kid at school. So instead of running with that fact and making our own lives happy and better, we're desperate for $400 jeans that will "make everyone like us and make me feel happy again".

Please. We need to get over ourselves and take a bit of a look around. We did this to ourselves. We don't deserve international sympathies, we deserve to accept our errors and make some changes we don't like. No one was happy with President Bush by the end. But if you expressed that you were somehow anti-American. Now, if you're in line with President Obama, you're even more anti-American. Do you know what we're all doing by focusing on these petty trivial things? WASTING TIME INSTEAD OF GETTING TO WORK.

This, I believe, is the heart and soul of the matter. We want to avoid the truth and the ugly mirror. So instead of doing our part to fix problems and be a part of "change we can believe in", it's just soo much easier to whine and wax poetic about the way things "ought to be". Did you ever work in fast food? Maybe back in high school? There you were, cleaning out the Dilly Bar machine or filtering the chicken mcnugget grease and pissed that you were doing it while your coworker Bambi stood right next to you whining about how HAAAAAARD this is and how much this job SUUUUUCCCKKKKS. That's a bitter pill to swallow. What's even harder to swallow is that now you're just another Bambi.

Get over yourself. We could always go back to this . . . .



But instead we've got this . . . .



Neither are perfect and they work with a terribly imperfect system and a country that enjoys excess and self-absorbancy. They work with whiners, slackers, and losers. We should be proud to be American, eh? Oh and here's just a bit of something for your consideration.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	M - Th 11p / 10c
Baracknophobia - Obey
comedycentral.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Economic Crisis Political Humor

I'm sure I'll get flamed for writing this. But whatever. That's fine by me.

Peace out-

Chatterbox Sara

Its Monday

I'm a guy who values his sleep, clearly. I don't have a normal "bed time" that I follow religiously - I go to bed when I'm tired. Sure, if I have a long day the next day I will go to bed early that night before, so I can be well rested, but normally, I go to bed anywhere from 9:30 to midnight. Now as far as waking up is concerned, I usually wake up anywhere from 7:30 to 8:00 am. Being the Director of my department, I'm afforded a more flexible schedule than others. Usually I go to work around 8:30 or 9. So when it comes to my sleep, I'm very particular.

This morning, at 6:24, a full hour before I wanted to wake up, I got a text message from one of my staff members saying she wouldnt be in today. This is fine, I'm a pretty laid back boss when it comes to leave. I figure, you earn the leave so you have the right to take it whenever you want. Unlike some directors/supervisors I know, I dont make a federal case out of leave time, I dont badger a person who wishes to take leave, and I'll glady approve any leave slip. So when my co-worker, the tutor in my office, texts me to say she won't be in, its fine, leave it at that, you dont have to give me an excuse, take the day off if you want. Instead, I get this long text that is seriously a short essay complete with an introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs. So here I am at 6:24 am, barely awake, trying to squint and read this long ass text.

She could have waited until 8 or so, its no worry of mine if I get to work and she's not there. So I get the text, it reads, as follows: "I cannot make it in today my daughter has influenza b. I had to take her to the emergency room last nite when we got back from the tournament. we stayed at the hospital for iv then i took her home at midnite. she was doing betr but through the nite her fever has come back. I will need to take her into the clinic this morning. On a good note, (her other child) go champion and (son #2) got 8th place. I will cal u later sorry bout this." Okay, so NORMALLY, the phone cuts you off at some point when youre texting, or at least it should. A simple, "I can't make it in today, sick child" would have sufficed instead of this long winded monstrosity that was her text.

That mini-novel of a text said it all right? apparently not. At this point, I knew there was no going back to sleep, so I stayed in bed, watching tv and all the bad music videos on VH1. So around 7:30, as usual, I start to get ready for work. I didn't hear my phone ring but apparently Miss Long-Winded Co-worker of the year called. I think her text said it all. Like I said, why did it have to be so early, I guess I'll have to put out a memo....

So I have this change bucket thing in my bedroom. I've been doing this for some time now. This large plastic container houses all my loose change that I tend to accumulate throughout the day. At the close of another day, I'll empty out my pockets and throw all my change in this container. Occasionally, I clean out my car that throw all the change in the ashtray into this bucket. It normally gets around half full, I'll take it in to the bank and cash all the change in, usually once a year. Well this year, apparently because I have more money or something, this bucket is 3/4 full. Theres not a lot of pennies in there either, we're talking alot of quarters and other silver. I think I'll wait until it gets completely full to the top before I take it in, maybe we could have a guessing game of how much money my change jar holds. I usually get anywhere from 80 to 200 bucks out of it, maybe i'll hit the jackpot with this one.

My sleepy little home town is getting a major technological upgrade tomorrow. Once in a great while, we get a few new channels added to our cable line up. Recently, it was the addition of 3 ESPN channels (4 total now), the NFL network, 2 more religious channels (4 total), and 2 home shopping channels. Apparently Gtown is full of religious zealots who like sports and are too lazy to go downtown to buy a crappy denim jacket (and everyone is crying SHOP LOCALLY, AND KEEP THE SMALL TOWN ALIVE). Well tomorrow, we're getting 10 more channels added to our lineup, and they're actually worthwhile channels, ones I have missed since leaving Vermillion. So thats not really a big deal you may be saying, but we're also getting DVR packages available too. I guess I'm officially a country bumpkin now... "gee, you can pause and rewind live TV, eeherherherheee!!!!!"

I should really be working, instead of sitting here typing away like this. I'm sure theres something I can find to do. I guess I'll be one my way now, off to the land of paperwork nightmares. Later... for now

Before you read Twilight

Its Me

Injum Jim is back, the rumors about me aren't true, i'm not dead and I haven't gone to Tibet on a spiritual quest. Its been a rough couple of weeks, I've been busy AND my department was on the verge of being shut down and investigated because the United States Postal Service lost official testing materials sent to be scored, NOT OUR FAULT. Any way, that was last week, this week i've been fairly relaxed and nothing much has been goin on. So last night, I was watching Hannity's America or whatever on Fox News Channel, and Hannity had on his Great American Panel. Basically, there is always someone who shares his view point, someone who opposes his views but is weak so he can walk all over them, and then one who is usually in the middle but usually always swings towards Hannity's side. Blah. Anyway, Dr. Drew was on this Panel, so I thought hmm, I should continue to watch to see what Dr. Drew says about politics. Needless to say he got in to the psycho babble about the mob mentality this country is in at this point and the dynamics of a group.

I got ahead of myself, let me back up. ALL throughout the show, Hannity, before every commercial break, was saying things like "The dangerous lyrics in Britney Spears's new song," "the hidden messages in Spears's new track," "what you dont want your child to hear when they listen to Britney Spears" Mission accomplished, he got my attention so I continued to watch. Well here is where Dr. Drew came in. I guess Britney's new song is entitled If You Seek Amy, I started to laugh to myself. Everyone on the show was acting like its the first instance where words were put together to make a different meaning. They were analysing it and of course, when you hear it over and over is sounds like F U C K Me. I think its making a mountain out of a mole hill. If he's the censor police where is he when all those guys walk around with the shirts saying Sofa King Awesome and stuff like that, I dont get it. Parents should be policing what their minor children listen, watch, and view on the internet. Thanks Hannity for looking out for my best interests.

Also, for as blatant of a partisan as Bill O'Reilly is, he has the nerve to say his show is the no spin zone, the spin stops here, cuz we're looking out for you. Okay, and this guy wrote a children's book. Isn't this the same guy who started out as a talk show host and isn't this the same guy who called some woman and left dirty messages on her phone? And this guy is talking about values and morals when he clearly doesn't have any. Okay so I got off my soapbox, no more. Well i'll be back later to blog some more since i've clearly neglected my blogging duties.

Later

Award Winning!

I follow a blog about Mrs. Obama and they just posted an entry about a recent fundraiser/award ceremony hosted by the Kennedy's. Here's the kicker, it was also for Senator Ted Kennedy's birthday. Oh and at this award ceremony/birthday bash/fundraiser thingmajiggybobber, Senator Kennedy was given the John F. Kennedy Profile In Courage Award.

Hold up a sec. Aren't you a Kennedy? Winning an award from the Kennedy's? Shouldn't you be exempt because you're a blood relative? Shouldn't you be presenting the award or something? There is just something so self-servicing and ignorant about "winning" an award from your own family- especially when you're the Kennedy's for goodness sake. What, do they have mini award ceremonies all the time for each other?

"Our two competitors for skinniest member of the Kennedy/Bouvier clans are Maria Shriver and Caroline Kennedy! Oh! Caroline wins again! Because it's the KENNEDY AWARD for skinniness! Come get your award girl!"

I better start holding the Sara Olson-Liebert awards, otherwise known as the SOL's, and only award myself.

I want a popsicle.

Chatterbox Sara

Snow

Snow = God Puke

God saw Satan's Arm Pit, SD.
He said, "That nauseates me."
Then he puked.
Snow.
On us.

AGAIN.

**by Chatterbox Sara**

Enjoy

Listen here, stupid heads

Winter sucks.
It is not romantic.
It is not fun.
It's only pretty during the first five minutes.
Also only pretty on postcards.
Give it a rest, mother nature.
If you looooooooove winter, you are ridiculous.
Come live HERE.
You'll get over how "cute" and "great" and "beautiful" and "romantic" you think winter is.
Because the only thing that winter is
Is AWFUL.

The End.

**A Poem by Chatterbox Sara**

WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MY PLANET EARTH DVD'S ARE HERE! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lady Gaga has a Crotch.

Soooo, it's been awhile since I've been here. In the name of shameless self promo, I've been on my new blog a lot, and it's listed at the bottom of the page, so check it out. I still need to post here though because with my dear, dear Injun Jimbo I can spend a lot of time being sardonic and nasty about this thing called life in America. It is one of the things I love most about our friendship, that we spend most of our time being flippant and nasty about the rest of the world.

Moving on, here's a quick lil' update on my little world. I'm super pregnant, I'm super over beng pregnant, I'm having a boy named Emerson. Nolan's birthday was last week, it was fun, olan no longer works at Barnes & Noble but now works full time for USD at the Dept of American Indian Studies Oral History Center. he should be a guest blogger on here sometime to talk about all his fun adventues with Jim-bo's peeps. Heyayayayaya. Our house has been sick ward for this last month- various flus and such have afflicted us in the most disgusting of ways. But the most important news is that Nolan convinced me to buy an orange futon/couch thingie for our office/guest room. I just pray it's not some hunter-garb orange or prisoner orange.

Moving on again. Today I was watching vh1 for the first time in about 800 years and I just need to know some things. Why are Lady Gaga and Britney Spears so devoted to showing off their coochi-coochie-coos? Really. Why? Every one knows you two probably have va-jay-jays. One of you has birthed spawnlings. The other, I thought was a cross dresser for a really long time, but I guess isn't, so therefore, it's natural that she has a vagina. I don't need to see it. Vaginas are actually kind of unattractive to look at, no matter how you playboy it up- waxings, bleachings, surgeries, whatever- it's still your muff and nobody but the people you do the dinky-dink with wants to see it.

Ugh. I really wish I had a cup of coffee. Back to lady Gaga. Out of wondering about her as an artist, I was listening to some of her other stuff on lala.com (you haven't heard about this site? oh, well GO THERE NOW- FREE AND CHEAP MUSICA) and there is one song called Papparazzi that is pretty spectacular because it's about being a stalker, which is incredibly hot. We all know how much I love love love Sting's Ultimate Ode to being an obsessive creep-o "Every Breath You Take". Sometimes I wake Nolan up by singing that song in a creepy voice- it always gets him turned on.

Wait a second, can we really classify someone with the name, artistic or not, of Lady Gaga as someone we take seriously? Didn't think so. Gosh, why do I care if she shows her va-gi-na then? I should care more about artists with integrity . . . like Kanye. He's got a new video out, "Heartless". It's an 80's acid trip. Nolan loves, loves Kanye. I just want to know why there are animated women in this video wearing green or yellow lipstick.

I also want to know why Nickleback's "got to be Somebody" video features them traveling through the universe and then standing pon a canyon ledge during an earthquake. Is this some testament to the awesome power of how much they blow? Can some one in the music video industry PLEASE explain to me why I need videos with va-jay-jays, green and yellow lipstick, galaxy travel, and an animated Kanye smoking a cigarette. He should smoke peace pipe lites with Jim-bo.

Jim-bo's a danged work-a-holic at this so called "job" of his. What salaried worker really goes and works on Sundays, just for the heck of it. I think that he's just tired of hanging out, being a creeper in his folks' dungeon basement, so he goes to work and dinks around with his cell phone and ipod and plays solitaire. I mean he is getting paid and all, why not!?!?!?! Just kidders, Jim- I know how hard you work. Sorta.

So a few weeks ago Nolan and I watched a documentary called "Cook Your Life". I really got the basic idea behind this thing- make cooking a zen thing, care what comes and goes from your body, nourish your soul while nourishing yourself. What I want to know is where they found the zen bread maker chef guy. He's a bit cross eyed and he's a bit lispy and he's just flat out fabulous. He has a five minute diatribe about having originally been resentful when he became a buddhist monk to the ritual of offering the Buddha food every night. He waxes poetic about the fact that he's certain Buddha doesn't care about the crepes they are offering him . . . and then just sort of tapers off because he probably lost his train of thought. You have to see this to appreciate it.

The best part of having watched this is that now Nolan can do a dead on impression of this guy ad does it regularly to alleviate my insano-prego-psycho-mood swings. Yeah, mood swings. I'm any manic depressives worse nightmare right now. Last night I went from feeling peaceful and content to psychotically angry to near sobbing to zooming around folding laundry in less than 30 seconds. I pity people that have to deal with me right now.

I gotta post another blog about the stupidness of being American right now, but I do need to be sort of productive today. Basically I'm mad at other Americans for giving President Obama grief for not getting all his promises accomplished in the first thirty seconds of being prezzie. Because, you know, bureaucracy doesn't just wick away efficiency of government, nosirree. But that's best saved for its own post, soon to come. Right now it's more important to me to go give the kitties some catnip purely for my own amusement.

Peace out-

Chatterbox Sara

Sunday at work

So its Sunday, the day of rest, and I'm at work elbows deep in review binders, performance goals, and data tables. Apparently I'm a workaholic or I like to toture myself, i'm not quiet sure yet but any way. I'm the only one here, and in an effort to keep busy and drown out the noises that this building creates when its windy out I've got my iPod going in my little Logitech portable speakers and I'm blastin out all sorts of music. I wish I could do this all the time because I'm amazingly productive when I have loud music in the background. All the stuff I've been procrastinating about over the past month is getting done right before my eyes. I guess the mix of Kanye (ya eventhough I hate the guy), Ingram Hill, CCR, Nickelback, and O.A.R. (just to name a few) are inspiring me to work my ass off like never before. Well Time to get back to work. Enjoy some music while your at it

My cluttered, messy desks

O.A.R. - New Music - More Music Videos

I DO TOO WORK SARA!!!

Okay, so Sara doubts me actually having a job. Lets explore this some more... I have a job, that I go to, Monday through Friday, its actually been pretty stressful lately. I haven't blogged or anything lately cuz MY FREAKIN JOB has been keeping me busy non stop lately. AND my one complaint is: WHY THE HELL WASN'T THE OTHER DIRECTOR AS BUSY AS I AM? So yeah, thats my excuse and I've been meaning to get on here lately to blog but even my free time isn't so free anymore.

So I had 2, count em TWO, meetings scheduled on Friday the 13th. The first one was with the President of our fine institution, and lasted all of 2 hours. In the end we got what we really wanted and no one got fired, especially me (my "probationary" period ended on Feb 3). The second one was scheduled at 2pm. Lets back up a second. My day started off at 6 am, I woke up, got ready, reported to work at 7 am, yeah thats Seven in the Goddam Morning. I was in a flurry of paperwork, followed by an hour long commute to the main office, a journey I know too well at this point. So I get there, start signing everyones timesheets and a stack of purchase requisitions (which I should start reading through cuz what if my assistant director is syphoning money through these purchase requisitions) and then I had an impromptu staff meeting. At around 10:40 or so, all of my department piled in to our cars, and formed an Adult Education caravan to the Administration Building across town. We arrived, went into the presidents office, and sat. I feared that this meeting would end how it had the previous Friday when the President failed to show because his secretary failed to notify him that I had confirmed the meeting because she was out all week - GO Figure... So we had the meeting and it went well.

The next meeting, scheduled at 2pm didnt happen. Freakin 2pm came and went, and at twenty after the lady called, "Hey sorry I can't make it, lets reschedule for next week okay? I totally forgot that I was supposed to meet with you and I'm on my way to(wherever she was goin)..." My response was "well I had to travel an hour one way to get here so what ever time we re-schedule lets make sure we can both show up because I can't be taking time to travel 2 hours out here..." Her response to my response "okay, well how does Thursday at 1 pm sound? I'm sorry but I totally spaced it out" Okay, that sounds fine (as I grit my teeth). So I gave everyone the rest of the day off, which was a dumbass move because everyone else got to go home as I had an hours drive back to my office.

So the past few weeks have been, well just great - not really. Today is actually a day where I have nothing scheduled, I haven't had any calls, I can pretty much relax for now, just today. I have a packet of review information to send off by next Monday so I'll have to get to work on that and then community-based meetings on Tuesday night (which takes place at a small town 2 hours away where our future new center will be) and then online training Wednesday and Thursday. (this all goes down NEXT week). Ohh big news in Gtown, an underage drinking party was busted Friday night and all of the 10 participants were cited, thats big news for our town.

I had a really good post that I was going to do last week entitled " Crumby Weekend, Amy Winehouse and the 80's shoe salesman " but unfortunately all hell broke loose at the office and I wasn't able to do so. So heres a brief synopsis of the post that could have been. I like Amy Winehouse's new song with Mark Ronson called Valarie. I am a bit confused on the point of view of the song, from a female perspective I would assume Ms. Winehouse is a lesbian but if it were written from a male perspective than it's about a man wanting his squeeze to come on over, Valarie. I dont know why I like her songs... I guess its the use of actual instruments on the tracks. Reminiscent of the songs from the 60's with an edgier twist. I grew up with Baby Boomer parents so I was stuck listening to "Golden Oldies" on those long car rides here and there. Who cares if you're a coke whore slut, Amy Winehouse, dammit I like your music, keep it up, just dont die, because then it would become a sad tradgedy. So the other day (this was last weekend) I was in Sioux Falls, I went into a particular shoe retailer. Well this guy (a shoesalesman I assume) greeted my father and I at the door and proceeded to follow us around the store, rather creepily might I add. He wasn't the typical shoe salesman who is right behind you and waits on you hand and foot. He sort of hovered there, just out of sight around a corner but within ear shot. And when I might say "what do you thing about these ones (to my father)" he would whip around from his hiding place and start to tell you why this shoe wasn't the right one for you, that you needed a more expensive brand. So this kept up and finally, rather annoyed, I said I'm just looking right now, I dont see anything I want... So he left, but not really, he still kept spying on us occaisionally reappearing at an opportun moments. Finally, I spotted a pair that I wanted to try on, they were Timberland casual dress shoes, brown, nothing spectacular. And I was about to ask a sales woman just a few isles down when all of a sudden, the creepy guy was behind me and snatched the display shoe out of my hand and asked what size I wanted it in... I gave him my size and bam he was gone. There were certain qualities that added to his creepiness. He had a mix between a mullet and a white-man's gericurl. He was full on business up front and party in the back. And he had an ear ring as well. I swear there was a hint of eye make up, i dont know what you call the stuff that goes around the eyes but yea, I'm sure there was some on the dude... SO I ended up buying the $100 shoes, which are comfortable. Thanks 80's Dude!

Okay so I guess I've blogged enough today, I've had to stop and start 3 times now so I'll wrap it up here. I'm looking at volanteonline.com enviously watching a video about the new student center at USD - damn them...
Later
Adios

Today

Today I ate duck curry and a hot fudge malt. It was amazing.

Where the fuck is Jim-bo?

I don't believe he actually works.

He's on the reeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzz for criminy jickeroos.

Ok.

Peace out-

Hayayayayayaay-

Chatterbox Sara

Let's talk about Sex

So Injun Jim and I both have degrees in psychology. Thus, we are pseudo-experts in all things psychological, or at least we pretend to be. However, we have some points where our opinions diverge on matters waxing intellectual (it's not stupid that I have a pink teapot btw, Jim-bo) an this isn't one we've talk about specifically, so we'll see what he's got to say on the matter.

Let's backtrack a little. On our campus where we hail from, one professor holds the single most popular class of USD's "elite" history. Psych of Sexuality. People go into this class expecting to spend hours watching pornos and you do get to do that. You also get a sociological and historical wrap on what's been up with sex for a few centuries now. It's pretty interesting, mildly challenging (as in, you gotta either show up to class, get notes from someone, or read the book to get a B on the test- but not all 3), and always a fun social experiment. However, there is one topic that isn't gone into very much that's been all the rage especially in the last decade.

Sexual Addiction. The professor does kind of go over the basics of the "disorder","disease", whatever, but it's not really studied in depth. So for an independent study credit and because I was vaguely contemplating becoming a sex therapist for awhile, I decided to study up on it a bit. There seem to be two camps of study on it- those who say it's for real and those who don't. This isn't clear cut, like the case for drug and alcohol addiction. A lot of "sex addicts" suffer from a spectrum of symptoms that don't easily fall into one class or another in terms of mental illness. There are some sex addicts whose brain scans show similar patterns to those of drug addicts in terms of stimulation/pleasure/etc. Then there are those whose scans don't match up.

A few "leading experts" on sexual addiction say that it's harder to classify because it covers such a range of sexual deviance- the person who spend 8 hours looking at porn online to the person who compulsively cheats on their spouse, the list is apparently all encompassing. There is this sort of loose definition floating around that sexual addiction is merely "any sexual behaviors that disrupt normal order of behavior for most people regularly". Ok, sure, sure. So this loose definition is how people are able to get out of nasty divorce settlements- because they got caught doing the nasty- it's suddenly not a morality issue, it's a "disorder".

The reason this has gotten me so fired up is because I read a story in my latest Elle that kind of jerked at my heart strings. This woman fell in love with a guy who basically NEVER expressed interest in her sexually and then went to lukewarm sexual desire towards her, to "sudden" out of control sexual behavior . . . but not with her. With everything else with a vagina- real or not. He pretty much totally convinced her that he had this "disease", that it was ruining his life, that he needed her to stay by him.

Thank God she left him. But she left convinced that he really was a sex addict, that he had a sexual disorder, that he was gripped in the thralls of addiction. No. Nuh uh. Uh Uh. No way. I'm sorry but what that story described was a girl, insecure enough about herself to believe she wasn't worthy this mans carnivorous desires, who basically got had by a sleazebag. You cannot convince me of his addiction, you just cannot. I believe some pretty crazy things. I believe that one Christmas after my father passed away, I saw his ghost in my mother's house. I believe that plastic surgery and American Express black cards should be free for me, but you CAN NOT convince me that sexual addiction is real and that this poor girl was a helpless bystander to her man's addiction.

I do, however, believe that sexual compulsions signal underlying deeper issues. But as it being an addiction in and of itself, no way. Sorry Dr. Freud and sorry most popular professor on the USD campus. Sorry, also, to this poor woman. I feel so deeply for her. I hope she gets a little therapy so she realizes that what was happening was unacceptable, inexcusable behavior that she in now way deserved and that she learns healthy ways to express self respect and boundaries and demands respect from future lovers. There's no way that David Duchovny's Character on Californication "suddenly triggered a dark compulsion within himself". This is a man who got caught and is looking for a way out.

I realize how backwards my opinion may sound for someone with a psych degree. But remember, I decided not to become a counselor, but rather a nurse. Obviously I am better suited for practical application of psychology rather than intellectual. I am sure that somewhere there is a whole community of "sex addicts" or their "victims" that I am offending but I don't care. This isn't real. The problems that cause this behavior are rooted in something else. You cannot convince me of a disease that anyone and their dog can get that has such a vague definition that basically I would be considered a sex addict for deciding to try a brazilian wax.

I am so mad about this article. That poor woman let herself suffer at the hands of this dude with basically sociopathic relationship tendencies for years. Perhaps she's an addict herself, an addict to emotional drama. You don't see a listing for those people in the DSM but yet, they exist- people who seek out and crave toxic relationships. The worst part of the article is that she read some flimsy book that applied Al-Anon principles to a variety of crisis and decided that because he met some of the criteria in the book for an addictive personality that meant he must be a sex addict. News flash, we all have some tendencies towards addictive personality issues. EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE WORLD. She believes this guy.

Has anyone noticed that over 70% of "sex addicts" are men? I've got no issue with dudes. Three of my very close friends are men, and I get along well with most things that have a penis. So this isn't some sort of feminist war diatribe that I'm on. But I have noticed that men are less likely to own up to their stupidity and more likely to look for wacko excuses for inexcusable behavior. I remember a kid in my first through third grade classes who loved to cuss and repeatedly attempted to convince the teacher he had tourette's. Nevermind the poor girl in our class WHO DID have it and suffered horrific tics and insecurity that, I am sure lasts to this day, this little doofus did his darnedest to convince the teachers of his "disability". I wonder if he's a "sex addict" now.

There's no way I can issue a peace out on this issue. So I'm signing off as . . .

All Riled Up-

Chatterbox Sara and the Spawn

Vendetta Against NPR

To our international readers, NPR- National Public Radio USED TO BE my favorite radio station on earth. Until now. Or until, as of recently, when it began to totally blow. So I really love classical music and instead of the tv constantly blaring, as a kid, my parents usually had the radio on all the time and it was always on NPR. They had just the right mix of stuff- news in the mornings till about 8 am, classical music by request, news from 11-1, classical music, news/radio talk shows from 5-7 (ish) then it was jazz nightly followed by this New Age-y music show and then back to classical after about 11 pm. So primarily music. This makes me happy. But over the past few years, there is less and less music being played and more and more talk, talk, talk, jibber jabber, it never ends.

They seriously have news and talk programming until about 9 am every day. Then around 11 am it starts again. Around 1:30 the music MIGHT start back up, or they might just keep yammering on all afternoon with one of their weekly shows like "Money Matters", "Focus on the Family" (hey, this is South Dakota- we are just as red as any former confederate state), "Garden Hotline" (kill me), whatever other yammering show they've got going on. It's more jarring than listening to "Love Lockdown" on perma-repeat. When I am working- be it on homework, housework, writing, or internet surfing, about 80% of the time I would prefer to be listening to classical music. I do not prefer to listen to the different varietals of blue crab grass that grow in sunny or shady spots.

I love gardening. I love to hear about it, read about it, etc. But not when I'd rather listen to classical music to keep focused. They also have kind of done away with some of the cooler programming that I did enjoy listening to. They used to do radio shows a kin to radio serials back in the 1940's- with mysteries or soap operas or whatever. This was totally entertaining. They also used to have daily astronomy updates that went along with the weather updates. There was a guy who had a poetry/essay half hour, it was all a whole lot more entertaining than hour after hour of hearing about former PResident Bush's new home in Dallas. Does anyone really care?

I appreciate NPR for being a credible and reliable source of international and national news that is fairly unbiased and rather informative. That's fine. But I don't need it for hours at a time. I don't need a daily hour and a half blitzkrieg from NPR's "National Report". Thank God they haven't gotten rid of Prairie Home Companion or Car Talk- I think the whole station will have gone amuck by then. Just bring back some more music, please! I listen to the radio so I don't have to buy more cd's and songs. Granted, there are internet radio stations and Pandora, but I'm not always in the mood to put that much effort into my radio listening.

Does that make me a lazy American? Whatever. I have an official grudge against NPR now. I may even start some sort of grassroots efforts to get them to play more damned music. After I'm done with my homework that I have to do listening to some random classical music cd on repeat, that is. Grrrrr.

Peaceout-

Chatterbox Sara and the spawnling (aka the baby in my belly)

Children at Work

In an effort to eliminate distractions at work I'm thinking about instituting the following policy regarding children at work. There are also some other things I think i should address. This could be a memo that I wish i could send out to certain peoples, including the one sitting 15 feet away from me YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

Dear staff, January 28, 2003

In an effort to eliminate distractions in the work place, specifically for the director, the following policy will go in to effect immediately! Starting today, your children will not be allowed to accompany you to work. Your children are prohibited from stopping by for "unexpected visits" during work hours. Your children are prohibited from calling you during work hours. Your spawn are prohibited from calling you ON THE OFFICE PHONE during work hours. Your children can not use the director's computer for anything because I'm afraid they'll get gum on the keyboard AGAIN and the last time the little shits used it the space bar "magically" popped off. (NO ONE IS ALLOWED AT MY DESK BUT ME)

If your children somehow magically appear at work without prior notification I will be forced to escort them in to our storage room where they will be locked in until such time as you are able to go home AND TAKE THEM WITH YOU. If you're planning your daughters birthday party, and she throws a bitch fit because "you're totally ruining her life" and she goes storming out of the building, she may not stomp off and slam the door behind her, causing MY bulletin board to fall from the wall. Furthermore, I will no longer allow cell phones at work. They are a distraction and this morning you spent (not kidding) 3 hours on it talking to everyone and their neighbor about God knows what.

You, as a valued member of our staff, are allowed an hour for lunch at 2 half hour breaks, one in the morning, one in the afternoon. FOR GOD'S SAKE PLEASE TAKE THESE BREAKS SO I CAN HAVE SOME TIME ALONE IN THE QUIET. You are expected to arrive at 8:00 am Monday through Fridays (not 7 am) and work until at least 4:00 pm (not leaving at 3) Office products are to be used for OFFICE USE ONLY, do not take a whole ream of paper home and not expect me to notice. Do not take the Director's nice stapler on his desk and replace it with the crappy, jam-prone stapler from your desk. See that new 3-hole paper punch behind me on my other desk? Thats for my use only, dont let your kids use it to make a mess and then drop it on the floor. Office copiers, fax machines, and printers (and by extension the ink and toner in them) are, again, for office use. Dont make scrapbooks from our supplies, dont be wasteful and print off 100 pages of a document that you didnt want any way. Those marker boards in our office and across the hall in the classroom are for staff use only and for instructional use only. Your kids shall not use these boards to play hangman and write words like Fuck Shit and bastard that can't be erased very well.

Remember that I am the director, I pretty much can do anything I want any time I want. If I want to work from home today and still claim hours, I can, this isn't an option for staff (except for the assistant director). If I want to take 2 hours lunch break, thats my prerogative. If I want to have everyone wear blue on mondays or pink polos on thursdays, I can. If I want to change the arrangement of our office, I can. if I want to come in at 9 am every day then I have that right. Above all else, know this, and do not for get this, that I can fire you at will at any time for any thing. I do not need a reason. I hope that this policy can be followed at all times. We must continue to work together as a team to... why bother anymore, YA'LL CAN GO TO HELL!

Sincere Thanks,
Injum Jim

Now that I got that out of my system I feel better. And for your information, all of the stuff in my dream memo happened at some point. I'm really not a dick, its just that when you sit in the same office with the same person day in and day out any little thing starts to bug you and when the whole day seems to bug the hell outta you its mind numbing and tedious to continue to sit here and keep it all in. My superbowl plans, stay at home, watch the tv, check out all the commercials and then go to bed.

Thats all folks!
Later
Injum Jim & the Drumsticks (my fictitious band name)

Wanted

Okay so I watched Wanted over the weekend, the movie with Angelina Jolie and Morgan Freeman and Common, and other unknown actors. All in all its a good movie. It's fairly bloody, but its the good type of bloody. Okay so Angelina, she's hot! Every, well almost every female perspective I get concerning Angelina, I usually get the same responses: "she's so not hot" "she's so ugly" "she's hot if you like that fake ass plastic surgery look" "she's too skinny, and her lips are too huge"

I guarantee that around 98.2% of straight, heterosexual guys out there find her attractive in some way. Sure she's a little odd looking but its that novelty that is attractive. So to my surprise, when Sara said that Angelina was beautiful in her own way, or I think she said something more like theres some strange beauty to her. Okay so there is one exception to my "almost every female perspective" statement, I do have a cousin, a female cousin who is absolutely in love with Angelina Jolie. Like the I'm enamored with her love, not I want to dyke out with her or anything, although she said she would if the opportunity came up.

Okay I'll stop my Jolie love-fest. I might start screaming "LEAVE ANGIE ALONE!!" My mother was doggin on Ms. Jolie the other evening. She was saying "how can a woman who was hanging all over that billy bob guy and saying that they had sex in the limo and wore viles of blood around her neck all of a sudden become this great humanitarian because she adopted some kids from other countries?" Point taken. I should get back to work, i'm so bored. Its time for me to shred some paper and piss off the other office workers! I'm OUT! Injum

I'm a bad foodie . . .

Apparently, because I don't appreciate purees and also don't really care for soufflés. Here's the deal. A soufflé is fussy to make, something I don't mind. I don't mind having to work to make something amazing. I don't mind when making something takes a while either, or goes in stages, or whatnot. It's just that every soufflé I've had doesn't live up to the hard work I've put into it. That's my issue with purees too. You work had for a long time, you do several stages of work, and then you finally put it into your mouth an it's just not comparable to the time and effort. It doesn't taste that great, it's not that interesting to be able to compensate for not tasting totally delicious, and in reality, you've spent a lot of time on nothing.

I've made a lot of soufflés, I've eaten a lot of soufflés, I've read a lot of soufflé recipes. They always sound so amazing too but it's all a lie. It's always some sort of disappointment to me. My mother loves to make them too. According to everyone and anyone who's ever eaten any soufflé she's ever made- it's the best they've ever had. So maybe I'm being a bad daughter, but I just don't think it's that great either. It's both a textural thing and a flavor thing. I don't enjoy the texture of a soufflé and I always feel they are under-seasoned or overwhelming.

I recently saw recipes for two different soufflés that sounded particularly spectacular. As I was pondering them I called my mom, to discuss the recipes, and she gets all huffy and says, "If you don't even like mine, why bother to make it on your own now? You've made several and never liked them." This is true. I have made several. Apparently I am as good at making them as my mom but I never enjoy eating it. I was emailing back and forth with another fellow foodie (though she is more established in the world than I am) and mentioned my disdain for purees and soufflés and got an email back so acid in tone that I thought for sure that I offended her immortal soul.

I was annoyed by this because it's not like I was preaching the joys of velveeta, hard boiled egg, and tomato soup casserole (a favorite of my grandmother who is currently in an insane asylum). There are so many other delicacies that I enjoy! Is this some sort of prereq of being into food that you have to like everything you put into your mouth that takes time and effort? Because if that's the case, then I' rather be a food enjoyer than a foodie. I'd rather be a cook than a chef then. I almost wanted to email her back and say, "well I like canned sardines on triscuits too so boo to you."

Anyways, one soufflé had black truffles and white cheddar in it, the other was smoked salmon and gruyere. I'm so annoyed right now by both my mother and my fellow foodie friends responses to my disdain of souffle that I am almost tempted to try to make one of the stupid things. But I wonder, would my reaction to it be tainted by annoyance?

I'm so thrilled!

I'm so excited to be watching the Inauguration today. I can't even focus very much on homework, I'm too excited. I've managed to get bits and pieces of housework and unpacking and reading done but I'm glued to the tv, frankly. Even though all I have watched hasn't been that monumental, I don't care. In celebration of our new President, I'm making chili and brownies- apparently two of his favorite foods. I'm sad that there are people who are bitter over his being our new President- it just kind of dillutes the fact that they are a part of a huge moment in our times. Get over the fact that he's black, that he's controversial, whatever, and get on the bandwagon to see where 2009 and a new President can take us! Red or blue, can't we just embrace change? Well, I am. Today is a happy day. Let's celebrate! To new beginnings!

Salud President Obama!

Peace out-

Chatterbox Sara

Huh Say What Kanye?

Love Lockdown-

It's kind of a sexy title for a song. It evokes a certain mood, thats for sure. I love the djembe-esque drums. I definitely want to shake the junk pregnancy has implanted into my gelatinous trunk. So imagine how excited I was that the video came on vh1 the other day! I was definitely ready to see some fabulousness. After all, I secretly have a spot in my heart for Kanye. Anyone remember him spouting about how President Bush hates black people at the big concert for Hurricane Katrina relief? That cemented it in my brain, he's a total funbag! I also really loved "Stronger" because when I first heard it after his speaking fiasco I thought "This dude is automatically on the CIA's terrorist list." After all, any dissenter of any sort makes it onto that list- look at James Taylor! I mean really. "Cats in the Cradle" dude? Really?

So imagine my shock and dismay when I finally view this video. It was beyond comprehension. It was totally baffling. The first part of this video is all white and silver and austere and he's dressed in white too, mumbling the words to the song. Then as you're sort of getting used to that, out of nowhere comes a tribe of Africans. Like hundreds of Africans, in battle and banging on djembe's and dancing and covered in paint. If that totally doesn't go with this video about losing the one you love and being stagnanted because of it, lets bring in some naked chicks in glow in the dark paint with tribal designs all over their bodies. Let's have them grope each other a bunch and lets have what looks like a creepy shaman/dead warrior dude in the weird weird white house with Kanye clutching his head.

The video ends with Kanye on the couch still mumbling. After we've had all these crazy shots of African soldiers and African dancers and drummers and naked chicks painted up in neon paint, lets just end this in the same wierdo austere way. I watched the video three different times by myself and decided to watch it with Nolan, because he's far less literal than me. Maybe HE would get it. He just watched it quietly with his eyebrows knitted together, chewing his lip, and afterward he says, much to my dismay, "What on earth was THAT about?" Well that sunk my heart. I was COUNTING on him being able to give me some sort of explanation. So he says "Well, lets look it up, and see what Kanye says it's about." Oh. Good idea. Doh.

So we read several explanations from Kanye- none of which make sense at all. The whole Love Lockdown album is about his break up with a long time girlfriend and it's meant to be his most personal and explore different aspects of his talent. Ok, thats fine. Then he talked about the video, which is apparently a tributary to Patrick Bateman's character in American Psycho. Wait, say that again. Huh? He liked the aesthetic of the movie and how the character was obsessed with order and labels and wanted to convey that in this video. Well, what the heck does that have to do with an entire African tribe being in your video about being obsessed with your ex? I mean, what? Why are they banging drums, dancing crazy war dances, Depicting battles, and why are there shamans in the house with you being creepy, and why are there glow in the dark naked girls feeling each other up?

Is this art? Am I this out of touch? I mean, I don't remember any African tribes in American Psycho and I'm certainly baffled by the whole way that that fits into the theme of this video. Someone make me understand. Help me find the way to comprehend this weirdness. Here's the lyrics too. You try and tell me how these go with that video.

Im not lovin you, the way I wanted to
What I had to do, had to run from you
Im in love with you, but the vibe is wrong
And that haunted me, all the way home
So ya never know, never never know
Never know enough, til its over love
Til we lose control, system overload
Screamin no no no, no no
I aint lovin you, the way I wanted to
See I wanna move, but cant escape from you
So I keep it low, keep a secret code
So everybody else dont have to know

So keep ya love locked down, ya love locked down (3x)
You keep ya love locked down, you lose

Im not lovin you, the way I wanted to
I cant keep my cool, so I keep it true
I got somethin to lose, so I gotta move
I cant keep myself, and still keep you too
So I keep in mind, when Im on my own
Somewhere far from home, In the danger zone
How many times did it take til I finally got through
you lose, you lose
I aint lovin you, the way I wanted to
See I had to go, see I had to go
No more wastein time, we cant wait for life
which is wastin time, wheres the finish line
kanye west lyrics on www.lyrics-celebrities.anekatips.com

So keep ya love locked down, ya love locked down (3x)
You keep ya love locked down, you lose

Im not lovin you, the way i wanted to
I met no one new, I got no one new
No I said im through, but got love for you
But im not lovin you, the way I wanted to
Gotta keep it goin, keep the lovin goin
Keep it on a roll, only god knows
Am I into you, baby im confused
You choose, you choose
I aint lovin you, the way I wanted to
Way I got to go, I dont need you
I been on this road, too many times before
I aint lovin you, the way I wanted to

So keep ya love locked down, ya love locked down
Keepin ya love locked down, ya love locked down
Keepin ya love locked down, ya love locked down
Keepin ya love locked down, you lose
So keep ya love locked down, ya love locked down
Keepin ya love locked down, ya love locked down
If you keep ya love locked down, ya love locked down
Keepin ya love locked down, you lose

Peaceout-

Chatterbox Sara

Let's Eat Baby Food!

I would definitely identify myself as a foodie that is ever in training. I love food, I want to publish cookbooks, I want to be Martha's Rival- we all know these things. I love following the trends in the food world just as much as following the pages of W or Vogue. But right now there is a strange fad going on that I am kind of failing to comprehend. Now I've tried it a few times and it's OKAY, but merely OKAY. It's definitely not anything that I would devote entire sections of magazines or cooking shows to because really, anyone can do it, but why would you really want to?

It's the trend of puree's. Fruit and vegetable purees. Not added into dishes or sauces, but rather served as actual dishes. Otherwise basically known as the baby food phenomena. To me anyways, this is a bit beyond comprehension. I know anymore, what with the economy and political strife and what not, comfort food is big. I do also enjoy and understand eating "outside the box" and that purees are majorily outside the box, but really? Baby food basically.

People are trying to chic it up with exotic vegetables, herbs, etc, but really that's what I would do to introduce my 6 month old to new flavors, not something I as an adult needs to do to enjoy vegetables. What's wrong with sauteeing or steaming your veggies? Or really, since we're American, go ahead and batter 'em and fry 'em up, good. Are we really so lazy now that we need our vegetables to be at the consistency of applesauce so that we basically lap it up and don't have to do things like chew? To achieve a dreamy consistency, one pretty much has to boil veggies till theres no nutritive value left, so really, by then especially whats the point?

Perhaps my prejudice comes from having a small child and from having worked with the elderly and disabled at places like SESDAC- where many of the people you care for need their foods pureed. Puree becomes a hell of a lot less appetizing when you have to puree everything from ice cream to meat loaf to veggies to bread. You see what you have to do to thin things out and achieve correct consistencies, and you'll lose your appetite for anything pureed real fast. Watching pureed anything dribble down peoples chins to comingle with spit and other foods makes puree even less appealing.

Really, no one has given a decent explanation as to why this has hit the foodie world with such fervor. I've tried a few purees and they taste . . . okay. Not spectacular, nothing to induce me to want to recreate it every night at home for my family. I'm pretty sure if I gave Nolan a plate with a glop of puree on it to be enjoyed on its own or what not, he probably would just sort of stare at me and sigh. As adults, aren't we supposed to be past that juvenile point where we need our veggies disguised in order to enjoy them? Aren't we supposed to eat salads with every meal and enjoy veggies in all different ways- crunchy, steamed, whatever?

Not to mention all the extra effort that goes into making purees. Granted I made a lot of Evas baby food, but that was usually from necessity and wanting her to try new things. but to deliberately prep veggies, boil them down to mush, and process them till they are "smooth like buttah" takes quite a bit of time. I plan on making baby food again for this baby, but that doesn't mean I want to eat it. As an adult, I do crave texture. Children are the ones who need textureless eating for awhile.

Really, I'm way picky about texture of most anything. As a younger person it was the number one reason why my mom couldn't get me to eat some things. I spent my childhood in the kitchen and I enjoy my daughter learning to do the same and hope to make a mini foodie out of her, but texture is something that makes or breaks a meal for me. If my asparagus is boiled and stringy instead of crisp and springy (Oh a rhyme!), I can't eat it. If my meat is cooked beyond recognition of anything other than carcinogenic leather, no thank you. Well cooked is almost more important to me than well seasoned. In my book theres not a lot you can do to season purees that will make me want to eat them.

I really wonder if this is just part of a whole "leave no stone unturned" philosophy that foodies are into. It's a philosophy I definitely get. But that doesn't mean I'm going to be cooking up leaches and dog poo anytime soon. I believe in adventurous eating and cooking but somehow this doesn't even seem adventurous, it just seems. . . . well gross. Forgive my ignorance but really? Do you ever crave a ja of baby food? I think not.

Peace out yo-

Chatterbox Sara

Tampons and Queso

I'd like to start this blog by noting that this was Jim-bo's idea. See, I've been devoid of blogging inspiration lately. Everytime I start a blog or get into a blog, it's incredibly boring, intensely unfunny, Maybe my golden moment is over, maybe m y time in the sun is forever shadowed, maybe I am walking through the valley of blogging death?

Or I can talk to you about tampons and queso. See, I pretty much make the best queso ever and it's been much imitated but never replicated. Even if I give you the recipe I guarantee it still won't taste as good as mine. I may be totally boasting in your opinion but trust me, everyone who has gotten this recipe out of me has said this of their own efforts.

"Can't youuuu make it for me? Mine just wasn't the same!"

No, it wasn't. Because frankly, I am Martha's rival. Boo yah. Man, I hate that stupid word boo-yah. Is it in urbandictionary.com Jim-bo? I just ate three raspberry zingers and several cookies, and some Diet Dr. Thunder, some queso dip, and I want a Snickers but I bet that would make me barf. Maybe just a bit. I don't know if I should so easily hand out my queso dip recipe. It's truly a product of being stuck in the Midwest but craving spicy, fatty, greasy, cheesy goodness. It's probably my brain starting to morph into the slog that is a midwestern brain, pretty soon I'll cook everything in cream of mushroom soup and think that wearing khaki cargo capris is synonymous for formal wear.

Ok, I don't know. I'm torn on whether or not to share this recipe. We'll see. Moving onto tampons. Moving helps you purge your existence, you know? You get to go through every corner of your entire house and pack or throw away. Well as I was cleaning out a bathroom cupboard, I found somewhere near 3.5 boxes of tampons in all different sizes. This is strange for several reasons, one of course because I'm in a family way, two because I only use one brand and type of tampon, and three because why on earth did I need 3 1/2 boxes each containing a minimum of 40 tampons. I mean that's over 120 tampons. Why didn't I realize I had all of these? I know I was buying other boxes of tampons in the meantime, I never remember buying those HUGE boxes.

Maybe they are leftover from another move? I don't know. This move has me incredibly frustrated. In September and October Nolan and I spent weeks throwing stuff out, donating stuff, recycling, etc. We eliminated just tons of crap. But as I unpack my new house, all I find is crap we missed that still needs thrown out or donated. This makes me want to cut my own ears off. Literally.

Oh great. Eva just up-ended the coffee table on herself. Geez kid. I suppose someone will turn me into Child Protective Services for that one.

Man I am so discouraged about unpacking this dumb house. It's getting old. I need things to organize stuff into and sort and etc., because my OCD will cosume me otherwise, but alas, no money to do that so crap just sits around in boxes, better irritating me every day. No wonder I have insomnia, my house is a nightmare right now.

Ok, see this is what I mean. This damned blog went downhill so fast, its just astonishing. It sucks majorily. So here's my recipe, just so I leave you with something good. Ugh.

Queso Dip

16 oz can pinto beans, drained
1 can Rotal tomatoes and Peppers (the Hot kind- they only come in one size btw)
1 small can diced green chilis (I think it's like 2 or 3 oz)
1/2 small red onion, diced
1 lb "Mexican Flavored" Velveeta
1/2 C. Cream (optional- if you like cheese dips to be thinner add it- but USE CREAM NOT MILK)

Throw everything together in a pan or a crockpot and heat till melted and bubbly. Stir regularly to prevent burning and to combine everything. This recipe DOES NOT WORK with jarred salsa- that just makes it disgusting and gloppy. Don't add cream cheese- then it gets lumpy. You can also add jalepeno slices or use the Mild or Medium Queso if you don't like it very spicy, but that automatically makes you a wuss in my book.

Enjoy sorta.

Ugh.

Peace out yo-

Chatterbox Sara

One Word: Bromance

I'm avoiding doing my "homework" for my professional development meeting tomorrow right? I have to read a chapter in the book and be able to inform the other attendees of the main points. I'm sittin in the hotel room, watching MTV. I watched the first episode of the latest RealWorld installment. Anymore now it's become so scripted that it hardly resembles the "real world" but in some elements it does. But ANYWAYS theres a show called Bromance on MTV. This guy, I don't know who he is or why he's considered famous and got his own show but he has all these guys competing to be his best friend right...

Bromance, as defined by urbandictionary.com, "describes the complicated love and affection shared by two straight males." I'm trying to think if I've ever had a "bromance". I think I can safely say no? I've had best friends who really know me. Yeah, we were two guys who cried in front of each other, nothin wrong with that. Would that constitute a bromance? Or would it be with another best friend who I know better than anyone else, is that a bromance? Or what about the best friend who I grew up with, who I've shared alot of experiences with, is that a bromance? Or what about another best friend who I can have an argument with and then the next second be laughing uncontrolably with because we realized our argument was stupid, is that part of a bromance? Perhaps I've had a bromance once or twice.

I'm not willing to go as far as saying its a Bromance in the urban dictionary meaning of the word. I don't know how you can have a bromance by having a bunch of guys competing for your bromantic attention. Each of these guys, guarenteed have alternative motives. (Side note I'm pretty sure I have a federal agent or someone staying in the hotel room next to me cuz he's driving a big white suburban with lights on it and he comes and goes at odd times, anyways) Can you go out to purposely find a best friend or form a bromance? Can you create, under artificial circumstances, something that is often genuine and spontaneous? The best friendships often happen by accident, in my world anyway.

How does a person go about developing trust in another individual? Thats a topic we discussed in professional development today and its really something to think about. Any one that you know, how have you gotten to the point where you could totally trust that person? Is it a sense of security, or of confidence, or maybe because they are understanding? Whatever way it happens, it can never be accomplished under false pretenses. For some, its hard to trust anyone, let alone some complete stranger. This show is one of the ultimate of unreal reality shows that people are somewhat consumed with. I guess I dont like watching scripted reality. I prefer cops (even though it is so freakin corny) over survivor (I hate survivor). (uh ohh, a guy is crying on Bromance, touching moment in 3... 2... 1...)

Oh, theres a movie about the rapper Biggie called notorious. How is it that death brings infamy? He and that other guy, Tupac died how long ago and everyone is still bringing them up. I bet had they lived, they would be washed up former rappers that no one knows anything about. I'm just saying, its easy to push all this glory on someone to make their death not be in vain and if people could attach some higher meaning to it then they have a savior. So why can't places get comfortable chairs when you're required to sit for extended periods of time. I dont know how many times my legs or ass fell asleep during todays training but it was too frequent for my tastes. Give me a couch or at least a well padded, cushiony office chair, not some metal folding chair dressed up with maroon fabric and a quarter inch of "padding" Oh Oh and we had "snacks" which consisted of bags of zero calorie cookies and granola clusters that were a little past their prime. Working for a state funded program absolutely sucks because there is only enough funding for the bare essentials, no frills or fluff. I better get back to studying, if you want to call it that... I just though that since I graduated college I was done with such childish activities, because afterall, these "trainers/presenters" are being paid to tell me how to better myself, why should I do any work? Off to my books!

I'm not racist or anything

I just wanted to make sure no one thought i was a racist because I realized that I was bad-mouthing two people of darker skin color. To be fair I feel obligated to berate a white person.

Obligatory White person bashing
Nancy Grace. Okay, this crazy has a talk show on CNN. She is like a former prosecuting attorney and all that stuff. the lady is down right psycho. She is the number one person on her show. She doesn't give anyone on the show a chance to talk or voice a differing opinion. She has an annoying voice. This whole "where's caylee?" thing, yeah its sad, i know and understand. But Nancy Grace was just using it as ratings material. Sensationalism at its worst. She needs to be kicked off the air and whoever that decided to give her a show be fired as well. there, that should balance things for now...

A Cold Harsh Winter Night

Here I am. Sitting here blogging and watching House. Its cold outside. Its snowing. Its windy. I'm bored. Can You tell? I'm in a Pierre hotel, one day down, and two to go. I attended my meetings today, tomorrow is the training (Part 1). Okay so I think I've just about seen it all. Okay I know I like to rip on Obama and all but seriously, Obama coins? The guy isn't even in office yet and heres Montel Williams pushing a set of Obama coins. "GET YOUR PIECE OF HISTORY TODAY!" I'm sure this will be the first in a long line of Obama-mania items that come out. He's not even served 1 day as president and I've been tired of him since last year. I didnt cry when he won the election, I didnt see it as a national healing. I wasn't about to vote for the guy because he had dark skin color (like so many of "my" people had).

South Dakota Winters
Beginning to hate 'em. I left home this morning for the 2 and some hour trip to my current frozen hell and it was freezing rain that was coming down, this changed to snow, which changed to wind, which changed to wind AND snow. Now its just cold. Winter was fun as a kid, but then so where slinkies and play dough. Now its just as lame and twice as unbearable.

Oprah
Okay so I was watching CNN the other night, a quasi-legitimate news source and there was a whole segment on "Oprah's Struggle" Basically, they were chronicalling the big O's weight fluctuations over the years. And now she's let her self gain 40 pounds heavier. Here's what O had to say (Paraphrasing with quotations) "Out of all the things I'm great at, out of all the things I can do, I couldnt keep the weight off" Get off the cross. There are plenty of other people out there that have more valiant struggles than yours. I know you are your favorite person but stop it. Its annoying, childish, and stupid. I guess the whole "i'm never going to eat beef again" thing didnt work out because all you ate was ice cream and candy bars.

Does anyone use those sun lamp things in hotels? Theres one in this hotel bathroom and I have no idea why. My last apartment had one too. Two GIANT ASS red lights that would shine down on the toilett. Maybe I'll try it tonight and go to training tomorrow morning looking like I just got back from the Bahamas.

Okay so I'm at a hotel, we've established that. I'm paranoid that I'm going to catch head lice or be attached by bed bugs while i'm here. My head is itching just thinking about it.

Okay, gonna do some channel surfing and sitting here, LATER

Jim's Some Favorites of 2008

Jim has some favorites too, the list is not comprehensive but its sufficient for now

Favorite Movie
I haven't had a favorite one this year
Favorite Favorite Restaurant Meal
It would have to be from a restaurant here in G-town. its the chicken fried rice which is no where close to actual chinese or asian food what so ever but everyone here loves it eventhough it consists of mostly rice - its okay
Favorite Homemade Meal
"homemade" pepperoni pizza
Favorite TV Show
HOUSE
Favorite Song
"I Kissed a Girl" Katy Perry (I hate this song, its annoying)
Favorite Website
BestBuy or Amazon
Favorite Blog
Chatterbox Sara and Injun Jim, DUH!
Favorite Purchases
music from iTunes
Favorite thing Eva said
Jim-bo's Here
Favorite thing Nolan said
the night we were watching the star wars clone wars thing and I was trying to ask whats the difference between space and hyperspace and Sara was trying to shut Nolan up and he blurts it out because i could just tell it bothered him
Favorite thing Sara said
Mr. Delicious
Favorite thing I said
Oh God its Everywhere (from work)
Favorite Random saying
NANANA STOOPID
Favorite Celebrity Stupidity
When everyone was saying BRITTNEY IS BACK! <-- I wish she stayed away
Favorite Headline
Sarah Pahlin is McCain's VP Pick!
Favorite News Story
Hugh Hefner is dating twins now, apparently he's concerned about the economy as well because he downsized from 3 girlfriends to 2 fake twins
Favorite Celebrity
Tom Cruise cuz he's insane, or Mel Gibson cuz he's a crazy catholic
Favorite Band
O.A.R.
Favorite Eva moment
When we were drinking coffee, I was drinking out of a mug with pink flowers on it and she had a little pink mug
Favorite Occurrences
Bowling with Betty (okay that really didnt happen), Sara being molested at work, Getting my new job, sleeping, DVR-ing, and Sara's drunk-fest halloween party
Favorite Stupid Moment
I was in a conference call at work and had the phone on speaker but didnt mute the mouthpiece, a coworker came in the room, spilled his coffee and yelled "Oh Shit!"

I'm Here!!

Sara keeps asking "where on earth is Injun Jim"

Well I'm right here.

I'm currently back at work, and after a week and a half vacation over the holidays, I wish I was still able to sleep in. Want to know whats sad? On my vacation, I came in to the office alot. Yeah so even my vacation wasn't a true vacation because I still have a thousand different things to worry about at work. I had an interesting discussion with Sara while I was back in town that one evening. We were talking about my absolute reign over the program I am director of. Apparently I can't let any one usurp my role as Director. Therefore, no-shit-taking Jim is now at work.

Okay thats not completely true. But in a recent series of meetings I had yesterday, I managed to maintain control and accurately convey what I wanted and did not budge when the higher-ups (administration) wanted me to cave. This felt good. Perhaps they were testing me because my new assertiveness was met considerably well. Here I am, a guy young enough to be some of these peoples son or grandson (hell even great grandson) and I was able to accomplish my goals and get what I wanted. And I owe this to Sara. Without her constant "DO NOT LET ANYONE USURP YOU" being beat in to my head all while I was there, I wouldn't have acted as I had yesterday.

I'm tired, I'm feeling sick, I dont want to go to work. I thought all that ended when I stopped working at you-know-where. Apparently not. Okay so should I do some of my favorite things like sara, just to copy someone else since I can't come up with something original... I can tell you now that my favorite 2008 things won't be as interesting as hers. I have no favorite foodie book or favorite cook book or whatever else she has favorites of. But my list could be unique. Okay I'll concoct a list and post it when I am finished. I am doing this despite having a grant, 2 reports, and a bunch more stuff I could be working on but it'll get done.

My favorite thing to eat EVER.

Salmon and Cream Cheese Bagel recipe
Ingredients:

1 six-ounce plain bagel. (or an everything bagel if you wanna be decadent)
3 thin rings of red onion.
3 ounces of thinly sliced smoked salmon.
¼ cup of thinly sliced cucumber.
2 tablespoons of chive cream cheese.
½ teaspoon of drained capers.
Preparation Instructions:

Slice the bagel in half and spread the cream cheese on the cut sides.

On one half, layer the cucumber, smoked salmon, red onion, and capers.

Place the other half, cream cheese side down, over filling.

Serve.

Huh . . . .

Where the heck is Injun Jim? He needs to get posting and fast!

In other news, Nolan and I have decided on trying to do a v-log "drama" series based on Madonna and Justin Timberlake's "4 Minutes" video. This show is going to be about what marriage would look like between Justified and Madame Madge.

We're moving into our new place this weekend! God bless trailers! Can't wait to go back to trailer living!

Now where on earth is Injun Jim???

Peaceout-

Chatterbox

Some Favorites of 2008

This list is by no means complete, but it's late in coming I guess. Enjoy!

Favorite Movie
Sex and the City
Favorite Book
One Fifth Avenue
Favorite Cookbook
Martha Stewart Cookies
Favorite Foodie Book
Cooking for Mr. Latte
Favorite Favorite Restaurant Meal
Salmon Mezza Luna at Lucianos, Coconut “Snow ball” at Ichiban
Favorite Homemade Meal
Roasted Tomato Pasta, Fried Green Tomatoes, Latkes
Favorite Recipe
Earl Grey Cookies, Russian Onion Dill bread
Favorite TV Show
Gossip Girl, Intervention, Top Chef, The Cleaner
Favorite Nailpolish
Chanel Ballerina, Essie Sugar Daddy, Essie Mod Squad, OPI Duchess of York
Favorite Song
“Love like this” Natasha Bettingfield, “The Water” by Feist, “Winter Song” by Sara Bareilles, “Hot n Cold” by Katy Perry
Favorite Makeup
Nars Orgasm Blush, Clinique Lilac Supermoist Lipslick, Dior Dioshow Mascara
Favorite Website
AMAZON, My Bimbo
Favorite Blog
Chatterbox Sara and Injun Jim, DUH!
Favorite Purchases
Eva's hand puppets, new Biofit bras from Victoria's Secret, a pink tea kettle, The Nutcracker with Baryshnikov, all new cookbooks
Favorite thing Eva said
“What the hell?” “Because Cheeze-it Crisps is born!”
Favorite thing Nolan said
“What do we have to go to the store for again now?”
Favorite thing I said
“I haven't got any ice cream in my bra Jack.”
Favorite Random saying
“Waaaauuhhhh”
Favorite Magazine
“Domino” “Vogue”
Favorite Toddler Show
Ni Hao Kai Lan, Yo Gabba Gabba

Favorite Celebrity Stupidity
Everytime Amy Winehouse went to rehab
Favorite Headline
Barack Wins Democratic Presidential Nomination
Favorite News Story
Barack Obama is President!
Favorite Celebrity
Amy Winehouse
Favorite Singer
Gavin DeGraw
Favorite Eva moment
Eva demanding sushi and then french fries at Coco Palace
Favorite Occurrences
Getting pregnant, Barack Obama winning the election, bbq'ing at Tim's house, quitting my job, anytime Nolan practices being Justin Timberlake, being asked if my nose was real at the grocery store, the drunken debacle that was my Halloween party, Thanksgiving
Favorite Stupid Moment
Shaving one leg repeatedly then whining about my other leg being “wierdly hairy” to everyone