Sara and Jim's random, funny musings that will make you laugh, cry, scream, and be thankful you did all three.

About Me

We are Sara and Jim. We worked together at a place called SESDAC that you wish only existed in your nightmares. We also had classes together. We're both brilliantly smart and you'd never even guess that. We're also really funny which astounds most people. We like to be nice, we like to be mean, we like to talk about randomness, we both speak Indian languages, make homemade pizzas, and love iTunes. We both have degrees and jobs. Neither of us are losers but we live in loser-ville. We are racist to each other to show our deep and profound love and appreciation for each other. Someday we'll write a tell-all expose book that will shock and astonish and amaze people. Someday we'll also be rich and Jim will live in Sara's basement. Jim is now BFF's with Sara and her Dweemo husband, Nolan. We are here to pump. You. UP.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Hoe Cakes

So I'm reading the Paula Deen memoir "It Ain't All About the Cooking" and I'm on the chapter where she and Captain Micheal start dating. And of course, Paula Deen has talked some about sex in this book but in a very tactful Southern lady manner. Well, anyways she's talking about getting intimate with the Captain and lo and behold she says, "Sure, we played HIDE THE SAUSAGE but that ain't what it's all about!"

HIDE THE SAUSAGE.

I nearly died peeing myself with laughter. What a way to put "old folk having sex" or "Doing the nasty" or whatever. God, I really love Paula Deen. I want her to be my grandma. I want her to come bustling into my house and say, "Alright y-all let's get cookin! WE gone make some hoe cakes and collard greens and fried chicken and some mud cake! Then we gonna party and play a little canasta when it's all done! Woo!"

I want her to nanny my children, be my personal chef, my best friend, and my surrogate mother. Oh and I want to inherit her big old house in Savannah Georgia.

Did I mention our dishwasher has gone wonky? I fucking hate doing dishes by hand so this better get fixed and pronto. I'm already skull deep in loads and loads of laundry, I mean seriously, I've been doing laundry for a week straight. I'm so sick of it. I'm also sick of my dogs right now. I'm only not sick of them when they are cuddled up on the bed asleep with me.

Nananananana stoooopid.

No comments: