Tampons and Queso

I'd like to start this blog by noting that this was Jim-bo's idea. See, I've been devoid of blogging inspiration lately. Everytime I start a blog or get into a blog, it's incredibly boring, intensely unfunny, Maybe my golden moment is over, maybe m y time in the sun is forever shadowed, maybe I am walking through the valley of blogging death?

Or I can talk to you about tampons and queso. See, I pretty much make the best queso ever and it's been much imitated but never replicated. Even if I give you the recipe I guarantee it still won't taste as good as mine. I may be totally boasting in your opinion but trust me, everyone who has gotten this recipe out of me has said this of their own efforts.

"Can't youuuu make it for me? Mine just wasn't the same!"

No, it wasn't. Because frankly, I am Martha's rival. Boo yah. Man, I hate that stupid word boo-yah. Is it in urbandictionary.com Jim-bo? I just ate three raspberry zingers and several cookies, and some Diet Dr. Thunder, some queso dip, and I want a Snickers but I bet that would make me barf. Maybe just a bit. I don't know if I should so easily hand out my queso dip recipe. It's truly a product of being stuck in the Midwest but craving spicy, fatty, greasy, cheesy goodness. It's probably my brain starting to morph into the slog that is a midwestern brain, pretty soon I'll cook everything in cream of mushroom soup and think that wearing khaki cargo capris is synonymous for formal wear.

Ok, I don't know. I'm torn on whether or not to share this recipe. We'll see. Moving onto tampons. Moving helps you purge your existence, you know? You get to go through every corner of your entire house and pack or throw away. Well as I was cleaning out a bathroom cupboard, I found somewhere near 3.5 boxes of tampons in all different sizes. This is strange for several reasons, one of course because I'm in a family way, two because I only use one brand and type of tampon, and three because why on earth did I need 3 1/2 boxes each containing a minimum of 40 tampons. I mean that's over 120 tampons. Why didn't I realize I had all of these? I know I was buying other boxes of tampons in the meantime, I never remember buying those HUGE boxes.

Maybe they are leftover from another move? I don't know. This move has me incredibly frustrated. In September and October Nolan and I spent weeks throwing stuff out, donating stuff, recycling, etc. We eliminated just tons of crap. But as I unpack my new house, all I find is crap we missed that still needs thrown out or donated. This makes me want to cut my own ears off. Literally.

Oh great. Eva just up-ended the coffee table on herself. Geez kid. I suppose someone will turn me into Child Protective Services for that one.

Man I am so discouraged about unpacking this dumb house. It's getting old. I need things to organize stuff into and sort and etc., because my OCD will cosume me otherwise, but alas, no money to do that so crap just sits around in boxes, better irritating me every day. No wonder I have insomnia, my house is a nightmare right now.

Ok, see this is what I mean. This damned blog went downhill so fast, its just astonishing. It sucks majorily. So here's my recipe, just so I leave you with something good. Ugh.

Queso Dip

16 oz can pinto beans, drained
1 can Rotal tomatoes and Peppers (the Hot kind- they only come in one size btw)
1 small can diced green chilis (I think it's like 2 or 3 oz)
1/2 small red onion, diced
1 lb "Mexican Flavored" Velveeta
1/2 C. Cream (optional- if you like cheese dips to be thinner add it- but USE CREAM NOT MILK)

Throw everything together in a pan or a crockpot and heat till melted and bubbly. Stir regularly to prevent burning and to combine everything. This recipe DOES NOT WORK with jarred salsa- that just makes it disgusting and gloppy. Don't add cream cheese- then it gets lumpy. You can also add jalepeno slices or use the Mild or Medium Queso if you don't like it very spicy, but that automatically makes you a wuss in my book.

Enjoy sorta.

Ugh.

Peace out yo-

Chatterbox Sara