Chatterbox Sara

As Roy Teeluck from Shear Genius would say, "Hi Hi Guys!" I'm Sara. This is Jim and I's personal and political and multicultural platform to say- well, whatever we find to be funny and tres interesante. Well, I guess Jim-bo already wrote his intro so it's my turn.

I was born on June 29th, 1982- according to my parents, that was the same day Hitler's mother was born- way to give your Jew kid a complex. Later on, thanks to the God that allowed man to create Wikipedia, I found out that wasn't true, but since I'm a Jew and we're forever still in search of the Promised Land for being eternal fuckups, I still carry the trauma of being associated with the mother of a genocidist and strive t o not only be rich and beautiful but do good too.

Ok. Moving on. My parents worked for the government as health care providers. We were transferred all over the country. They also worked as traveling health care providers- so needless to say, I've lived in a lot of different places- both rural and urban. My parents worked in Indian Health Care for a long time, so I've lived on a bunch of random reservations and speak bits and pieces of different languages ranging from Spanish, French, German, Navajo, Hopi, Chippewa, Hebrew- see where I'm going with this? Something fun that Injun Jim and I like to do is trade dirty words in different languages that we know.

I went through a very, very long ugly duckling stage. I was always involved in music, theatre, dance, writing, all things vastly creative. I had an alcoholic father who abused drugs and my mother and I. I had Betty Crocker for my mother- no fairly literally. We finally settled in a hellhole named Hot Springs, SD (famous for Evans Plunge and Jesus Freaks) after I had happily resided in Phoenix AZ for years. My dad said he wanted to move home to be closer to his parents- in reality he had gotten fired for being a drunk and drug addicted nurse. Was that too blunt? To put it mildly, I hated high school and hated Hot Springs, SD and knew that high school was one of those transitory phases in life that means very little, but much ado is made of anyways.

As a kid and teen, I wrote and wrote and wrote and read and read and read and I was really obsessed with high fashion and style and metropolitan culture. I had a nanny named Stephanie who introduced me to magazines like Vogue when I was about thirteen and my parents tried to ban them but I read them all and memorized them and read any books or essays suggested in them, saw films reviewed by them- they just represented the life I aspired to in so many ways.

Anyways, I went to college, and now am 26 and am, well, still in college. I originally majored in Mass Comm because I competed in beauty pageants and wanted to be Miss America and well, being an anchorwoman is what most of those girls end up being. Then I switched to Political Science because I wanted to prove the world wrong and become a lawyer. Then I decided I wanted to do something legal and something healthcare so I changed to Health Care Administration and Pre-Law. Then I decided that I wanted to go to school at USD and transferred here (I was previously at BHSU).

Well, I came here. I got pregnant in like two seconds because even though I used two different forms of birth control, apparently God had it in mind for me to get my act together. I worked, had my daughter, met my husband, got married, got my priorities straightened out and went back to school. I got a degree in psychology and have returned to school to get my nursing degree/licensure. I plan on being a psychiatric nurse. Total change from lawyer right? Well, three reasons. I don't want 90 hour work weeks. I need time alone away from the rest of the world. I need time with my family.

I'm excited to become a psychiatric nurse. It takes a certain attitude and a certain strength of character. I'm also excited because I blog and write cookbooks and someday, dammit, I'm going to be famous! I met Jim working at a place where we speak Jackanese and Jim and I became friends after I lovingly threw racist slurs at him regularly and he insulted me continuously on being a bossy, ditzy motormouth. We suddenly knew we had struck gold. We needed to blog together.

See I'm rather opinionated and I lack tact. But I'm a really nice person so long as you don't piss me off. I'm also really really smart, but I like to downplay it by being funny A LOT. I loved working with Jim and I love talking with him more. I really love to spend a lot of time writing about things that annoy me or amuse me or both. I promise that Jim and I's blog will be jam packed with fun.

I'd also like to mention the fact that Jim and I openly accept charitable donations to our selves- cash gifts, gifts, food, cars, mafia hits, whatever you've got to offer- we'll take it. We are our own charity. Jim and I are going to become Coyotes- we're going to help illegals hop the border for 3k a head. We are also going to write exposes, and continue to speak Jackanese to you and to each other. We're racist, sentimental, dodgy, and crazy. WELCOME!

Oh, and by the way. I'm blonde, I tan, I'm going to have botox aand plastic surgery someday, I'm addicted to designer handbags and shoes, and I have subscriptions to over twenty magazines. I also recycle. Go Green or DIE.