True Blood

So, where do I begin? Unlike Sara, i mean Chatterbox Sara, I haven't read any of the books BUT after seeing a few episodes of this show i am now an expert in the story and who cares if I read some book. ANYWAYS... "i wanna do bad things with you" This show is set in the South, where apparently intolerance of anything different still runs rampant (imagine that). I think this show is way too, whats the word, corny. Forget the eloquent bullshit and come right out and say it. I'm going to forego witty comparisons cuz I'm pretty sure I skipped over Sara's (sorry).

This show, in maybe what be one of its more accurate points, paints all southerners as being ignorant hicks who are full of misconceptions of vampires right? Basically insert any minority group and the show would basically be the same. Gays = you might catch his gayness if he touches you. need I go on? Ahh the south, where ignorance is bliss and you can make fun of people without offending them. So anyway ANNA PAQUIN IS RETARDED, opps i mean mentally challenged. She is such a bad actress in this role, and perhaps in every other role she's played, i dont know, I haven't seen anything else with her in it. Her accent is horrible and she comes off as clueless, exactly as Sara said, a Valley Girl trying to be southern.

So what else, oh the horny guy, yea is that completely necessary. It doesn't contribute to the story in any way. The gay line cook cracks me up and he needs more lines. The grandma seems clueless and senile. The whole undercurrent through the show of intolerance is lost on me. Granted, if written right, that part could play an integral role in the series but since its just background noise. The t.v. news scene where the Christian fundamentalist even refuses to talk to the woman from the American Vampire League is ridiculusly accurate. Now granted, I'm not one of those who go around saying Christ this and Jesus that, I'm not particularly religious but come on, seriously, if there were vampires the religious right would have to be against them. They're against anything that the bible tells them to be against.

SO to reiterate, ANNA PAQUIN IS A HORRIBLE ACTRESS, the series could probably better overall. The acting could be improved upon. I will follow this series about as much as I follow America's Next Top Model - which is ALOT (hah). I'm tired, its hard for me to write anything witty and funny but i promise, I get better folks. I drove all the way from my hometown to vermillion then absolutely HAD to blog for face the guillotine as Sara says. She orders me around and makes me do things most people dont even think of doing. Maybe I should fake my own death and I could escape her clutches. I could put out a fake news release to the papers, crash my car but i wont be in it. My funeral would be in my home town so she wouldnt make it. I could live in the trailer court by McDonalds and only walk there to get food and then to the corner gas station for smokes and beer. Oh My God or great spirit or whatever I believe in Sara said she's going to throw me down the well in her back yard and keep me prisoner there until I grant her 3 wishes. She's stalking me, She even said so. Call the FBI, I'm going to need it....