Chatterbox Sara and Injum Jims Totally Awesome Blog

Sara and Jim's random, funny musings that will make you laugh, cry, scream, and be thankful you did all three.

About Me

We are Sara and Jim. We worked together at a place called SESDAC that you wish only existed in your nightmares. We also had classes together. We're both brilliantly smart and you'd never even guess that. We're also really funny which astounds most people. We like to be nice, we like to be mean, we like to talk about randomness, we both speak Indian languages, make homemade pizzas, and love iTunes. We both have degrees and jobs. Neither of us are losers but we live in loser-ville. We are racist to each other to show our deep and profound love and appreciation for each other. Someday we'll write a tell-all expose book that will shock and astonish and amaze people. Someday we'll also be rich and Jim will live in Sara's basement. Jim is now BFF's with Sara and her Dweemo husband, Nolan. We are here to pump. You. UP.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Jim is not old.

Ok I will empathize. At 24, I felt old. I felt like I was making baby steps towards my goals and in the meantime, not enjoying the qualities I had had in my youth. But now I am 26, heading toward 30 at a breakneck speed and I realize, I still am moving towards my goals at caterpillar like speed, I am fatter and wrinklier, and I am TERRIFIED of 30. I am terrified of still not having the things I want- both personally and professionally- and I am terrified that because I am older I will have lost my drive and ambition and I will just settle for whatever my life is like at that point.

It's an ugly image. See, I'm happy with my life but I'm also not. I'm still a student, my family still barely lives paycheck to paycheck, and overall, I just want more. I can't feel Jim-bo's pain over the white hairs yet because, well, I dye my hair but I wake up in the morning and stare at my new wrinkles that will only deepen and I check my ass in the mirror and realize it looks more and more like my mothers everyday. This does not make me happy. I am vain and I am fine with admitting this.

Yet at this point, I am in the same boat as Jim, I may still not be in charge of myself. Working at SESDAC seems to stagnate people, you FORGET that you can be more, that you are smarter and capable of more than you are forced to do, and everyday you are beaten down with drama and bullshit and hard work and you don't even have any energy to try and get yourself somewhere. this is part of why I had to quit. I love the friendships and the memories of working there, I really am grateful for that. But I was losing myself there and everyday I woke up less and less satisfied with my life. I also woke up sick and battered and exhausted every day too but that's beside the point.

So anyways, aging. It sucks. I don't really enjoy being in my twenties still to be perfectly honest, but I am terrified of getting to my thirties and being a perpetual twenty something. I am too smart and worth too much for that to occur. Oh and Jim, yeah you need to post a video of you playing with your disco dinos. And yeah, I have to pace myself now too even though I still attempt to be a total procrastinator about everything. Sigh. I want a nap.
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