A Chatterbox Christmakwaanukkah Wish List

I'm really glad that Injun Jim wants such innocuous things as no more Larry The Cable Guy and for weather channels to refer to our state by its proper name. Pish posh, he says, to things like wanting a Wii or a Hummer or whatever. NOT FOR ME he scoffs as he downloads 200 different remixes of Umbrella off of iTunes. Maybe for Christmas I wanna be like Jim-bo.

Ok, I'll stop teasing, Santa may not like it very much. I need to thin about the things that I really want for my list, I suppose, not just presents, because I can't be selfish when Jim-bo was so generous with his own wish list and asked for such noble things, therefore I probably shouldn't post a link to my wish lists at Amazon or Tiffany's or anything like that. I suppose that would mock our disgraceful American economy.

This is gonna be hard. I do so love to daydream about baubles and thingies I want as presents. I must try not to be soooooo self absorbed.

Wish List 2008 Style-o

1. She'll probably kill me for saying this but I'd really like fr my friend Sarah's string of bad luck to end. She's had a dramatic couple of years, it's time for God to give her a break and just give her a man who wants to put a ring on her finger, a job, a body that functions, and a little bit of self esteem. She's pretty down right now, and while I think she's amazing-o, I understand how a long string of bad things happening can really wear a girl down. Been there, done that, and whle my own luck isn't that great, per sae, she could use a few pick me ups.

2. Eva to finally be fully potty trained and out of diapers for good. I gotta put another baby into diapers in a mere matter of half of a year, I'd like to not have two kids in them. That gets old fast. She only wears them when she's asleep now but still has accidents and still prefers them. I have no earthly idea why, I'd rather not wear something huge and crinkly that got damp on a regular basis, but that could just be the adult in me.

3. A bailout package for American citizens. Automakers and Wall Street big wigs aren't the only ones who need saving right now. Every sector of this economy needs revamping and sadly, we american debtors have gotten ourselves int such a predicament that frankly, we all need a few thousand bucks to get ourselves standing again. Then we all need to cut up half of our credit cards and invest in savings accounts.

4. Someone to cancel America's Next Top Model. Yeah, I know I watch the show and I know I "love" Tyra. But Tyra is insane, how can you not watch a train wreck? However, I just feel bad for the girls that go on this show, so FEW of them ever really make it big, it's got to be heart breaking to go on a show to pursue something that is your dream and find out after the fact that you've been scoffed at the entire time for being on said show and therefore, your job chances hurt. Karl Lagerfeld (from Chanel, Jim-bo) said in a ninterview recently that the girls on that show are the laughing stock of the entire fashion community and really, in a career path that is so fickle and mellifluous to begin with, do you need to start out with no one taking you seriously?

5. Someone to enact laws banning Hummers. Just seeing them makes me furious, only snotty rich brats drive those stupid things. How much money does one spend on gas for one of those things. Every time I see one I want to spit on their vile yellow paint (every Hummer seems to be yellow- a fact that makes me even more hateful). Weren't Hummers originally supposed to be vehicles used by the military? SO WHY DOES THAT MEAN THAT REGULAR CONSUMERS SHOULD BE BUYING THE STUPID THINGS? nONONO!

6. On the note of the Hummer, let's just find a way to erase the American attitude of Bigger is Better, More is More, I Need it All. This is how we got ourselves into the mess we are in today.

7. I'd like Obama to hurry up and get inaugurated too. I'm sick of Bush and I'm sick of all the press leading up to his inauguration. Let's just git 'er done.

8. Winter to go away. I just hate snow. I just hate bad weather, I dont even want to leave the house, therefore I'm a ticking time bomb of bitchiness because I've got cabin fever. I really need to move. I'm so sick of living in the arm pit of South Dakota. I just want to be somewhere where it makes me happy to wake up everyday and be alive.

9. Ok, I gotta put a short list of material things I want but cannot afford. A Wii, a new Ipod, new hybrid vehicles, a new wedding band or mine fixed, a Cuisinart food processor, a Kitchenaid Stand Mixer, new furniture- including that for my spawn, my bills paid for a few years, and a treadmill.

10. A peace pipe, headress, and drum for Injun Jim-bo. Moccasins for me.

11. A free lifetime supply of Starbucks and sushi. Always fresh and delicious and delivered to me in bed.

Gee, I think that that's all for now.

Peaceout-

Chatterbox